


Beyond the Rifts

by sexysatinsurprises



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Background Relationships, Dragon Age Inquisition, F/M, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-09-14 19:39:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 36,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9199619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexysatinsurprises/pseuds/sexysatinsurprises
Summary: Beyond the Rifts is a story told through my Inquisitor, Eloren.I've used bits of Dragon Age Inquisition to help guide you (and myself) through the story, with pieces you will recognize from the game to give more emotional depth to the whole story line, as told through my personal Inquisitor I'm writing in first person. I respect all the game's writers, and their work. I've just added pieces of my own to see and feel on a more personal level with my Inquisitor and her relationships, conversations, and antics.





	1. Internal Flames

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: This is my first “Chapter 1” in almost 10 years. I am so excited to begin and I’m open to any type of kind help offered. Please feel free to throw me ideas, point out any spelling errors etc. Thank you.   
> I'm very nervous and hope you enjoy my little spin off of Dragon Age Inquisition!
> 
> Summary:  The introduction of Eloren, the Apostate mage, her background, and her memories of her choices made back in Haven.

Burning.  
My wrists stung, my hand was ablaze, I couldn’t open my eyes, my muscles were paralyzed, consumed in a deep darkness, I heard agonizing screams, teeth cracking as they clench down on one other, muscles tearing, bones moaning, begging for the pressure to cease. Are all these sounds resonating from my being?  
I couldn’t help the debilitating tremors as they clenched my body as solid as the trees of the Brecilian Forest. There were too many feelings running through me, pain searing into my veins like a fiery electrical charge from the mightiest of dragons, the burning numbness of muscles clenched too tight for too long, the taste of blood and stomach bile in my throat. The agony was ripping through me like wildfire and the fear paralyzing me down to the smallest parts of my soul.  
For the love of Mythal, please, cease my state and bring me back to the daylight.  
I heard the squeaky hinges of a door creak open, and soft steps padding closer to my ears. A sweet aura surrounded me, like a summer wind over chilled skin. Goosebumps rushed towards my toes, and warmth like the sun began to radiate from my heart.  
The pain eased, my body softened, I saw pictures of the wonderful wildflowers and forests from back home in the Dales. I slowly succumbed to the smell of summer and the feeling of grass beneath my bare feet. The sound of the birds chirping in my ears, and the fireflies lighting up the night sky. In the last stream of consciousness, the sweet smell of Embrium filled my nostrils, and like the winter sunset, I faded into quiet darkness once again.  
I sit bolt upright in bed; the fire across the room is barely lit now, the sky still dark. These dreams of the beginning of all this are all too real, it’s like I was just back in Haven yesterday. I’m unsure if being the Inquitor to everyone but myself, or trying to run this shit show was the cause of the night terrors, but I just wish I could get a good night’s sleep.   
Crawling out of bed I drape my thin bedding around my shoulders and walk out to my balcony. The chilly summer breeze blows my messy hair from my face, and dries the sheen of sweat across my forehead. Sighing, I put my head in my hands and look off into the mountain ranges.  
“Quietly suffering. Alone. Tired. Stressed. Will I ever become what they need me to be? Do I believe in what they wanted me to be?” A small voice whispers next to me. Jumping back, covering up as much of my small clothes and myself as I could, I stumble backwards, falling into the doorframe.  
“Holy Elgar’nan! COLE!” I yelp, picking myself off the stone floor.  
“I’m sorry. Your thoughts, they woke me. It’s quiet. All quiet. Until you.” He says softly, rubbing his chin. Perched up on top of the railing, in this light, Cole looks like a lost child, his wide brimmed hat covering most of his face and shoulders. Dusting myself off and wrapping my sheet tighter around me, I approach him and join him on the ledge.  
“Well, I can’t say you’re wrong.” I sigh.  
“I’m never wrong.” He quips. I can hear the slight smile in his tone. He looks up at me and I see his brown eyes glimmering from the moonlight. Even in the amount of clothing I’m in, he looks me straight in the face, never wavering. His soul is pure, his intentions to match. Being a compassionate spirit, he’s here to help, not to spy. It was hard to stay angry at him, and he was too easy to not talk to, or love even.  
“Look at the stars. They’re so far away. Some of them are gone.” He whispers, looking up at the sky. “I think the stars are sad.”  
“Why are they sad, Cole?”  
“They’re sad because we see their light, even after they’ve gone away. It’s like they’re lying, and they don’t like it. You’re a star.”  
I smile slightly; he always had an amazing way of pinning people down, even if it didn’t always make the most perfect sense.  
“I do feel like a star.” I confide.  
“But I don’t think your light has gone.” He says, standing up, arms out, and walking the ledge. I watch him as he balances, his ragged shirttails moving with the breeze. “You’re shiny, but not in a way other people see.”  
I sit and think about that for a while. To some, Andraste chose me, but to me? Andraste was never a part of me, or who I am. “She doesn’t have to be,” He answers my hidden thoughts, “what matters is you’re you. And you’re shiny. Worrying never helps. Be shiny.” His voice carries away with the wind, and before I know it, he’s vanished. Typical Cole. But it all made a little more sense. Just do what I must do, and let everyone think what he or she needed to. We all need to believe in something. Looking down at my hand, quieter since I’ve taken care some of the bigger rifts around the Hinterlands, I think back to when it all started:  
My wrists are throbbing; cold, thick, chains confine me. It’s dark, rain is pouring outside, people are arguing and yelling things I can’t make out. Armed guards surrounded me, and my hand was shocking me, sending flashes of green light throughout the room. The chamber door swung open, and a lady draped in a dark cloak strode in, another figure in armor right behind her. Not seconds before I could get them focused in my vision are they toe to toe with me, staring into my green eyes with certainty, and accusation.  
“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now. The conclave is destroyed, everyone who attended is dead, except for you, and since, there’s a gaping hole in the sky.”  
“You think I did this?” I croaked.  
“EXPLAIN THIS!” She lifted my hand with ease, which is strange, as it felt like a ton of iron to me, and threw it down to the ground, the green glow growing larger.  
“I can’t!” I sputtered.  
“What do you mean you can’t?” She was yelling now, circling me like a lioness hunting her prey.  
“I don’t know how it got there!”  
“YOU’RE LYING!” She lunged at me, throwing her body, striking like an unsuspecting snake in the grass.  
“Cassandra! We need her.” The cloaked figure hissed from the dark corner of the room.  
She backed away from me, pacing, never taking her auburn eyes from mine.  
“Explain to us what you remember.” The cloaked figure purred.  
I rack my brain, my eyes focusing on my hands. I couldn’t remember, for the life of me, I just couldn’t remember.  
The sound of a lightning bolt woke me from my reverie. The wind picks up, and dark clouds began to move in. The stars started to go out, and the sick, green hue from where the Rift shines off the angry clouds became the main attraction in the chilly night air. For a second, I thought I could ignore the nasty scar in the sky, or it had gone away completely.    
I head inside, knowing that even the calm noises of the storm that was approaching couldn’t even quiet my busy mind. Pulling on some loose cloth pants and my favorite baggy shirt, I walk to the Main Hall. Nobody was up at this hour, and it all fell silent. I stare at the castle around me, the judgment throne I hate to sit in, and the strange drapery that Josephine insisted would look the best for our cause. It made me giggle. She’s always so caught up in the politics of everything. Mythal forbid that the curtains didn’t match the weather that day.  
Walking towards the end of the hall, I peek into Solas’ study. Surprisingly, he wasn’t up, drinking the tea he absolutely detests. I walk past his desk and run my fingers over the back of his chair. It was stressed near the top center, where I know he lays his head when he’s frustrated. On his desk, I see a piece of parchment written in elegant script.

Day 1:  
Not coherent. Lots of squirming, screaming, and seizures. More elfroot and embrium to calm the muscles. Beginning to study more on her mark. Seems to pulsate in time with the Rift in the sky. No like pattern, sometimes the pulses are stronger than others.  
Will continue studies.  
 Day 2:  
After multiple elfroot applications, she’s calmed, the sweating has stopped. Seizures are minute, and her jaw has come unclenched. After staying up with her all-night and applying a wet towel every other hour, her fever has broken, and has yet to return.  
Day 3:  
Beginning to toss and turn in her sleep. Mumbling slightly. Fever hasn’t returned, and all other symptoms have almost disappeared. Any time now she should awaken.  
Not much more learned on her mark.  
Setting the paper down, it dawns on me that this was a journal entry from back in Haven. It must have been written during the days I was out, dead to the world because my body was struggling to fight the mark on my hand. I didn’t know he’d cared for me those days, and it makes me sad that I haven’t ever known or thanked him.  
 I remember the day after I woke up, walking out into the cold, everyone staring so intently at me. The first person I talked to was Solas. I found happiness knowing I wasn’t the only Apostate, and he helped me cope with the strange looks, knife ear comments, and overall just complete discontent with my being around, not to mention the only one with the key to everyone’s salvation on her hand.  
“When things get rough, I venture into the Fade, and find ease in watching history.” He said to me one day, as we walked through the forests on the outskirts of Haven.  
“You go into the Fade, willingly?” I stopped, shocked. He smiled a coy smile.  
“Yes, I do.” He took out his staff, circling it in his hands. “I travel to ancient ruins, and battlefields, searching for dreams of the lost civilizations.”  
“But, isn’t it unsafe?”  
“Usually if you leave food for the spiders, they live and let live.” He sounded so matter of fact, so smart, and so sure. I walked with him a bit longer, enjoying the comfortable silence between us.  
“I’m glad you chose the mages,” he stated, “even though I do believe we are all at risk of corruption.”  
 I remembered when I was back with my Clan in the Dales; My Clan Sister NaVala and I were sitting in the shallows of the river near our home. We never stayed in one place long, but we’d been there for many moon cycles, and it gave me false hope we’d stay.  
NaVala struggled with her abilities, and after being outcast by her noble Tevinter family, and not being an elf, she felt out of place everywhere she went. I asked our Keeper if we could bring her in, which he wasn’t thrilled about. I giggled, remembering the trials we trained weeks for before she could pass. Soon she wasn’t so much an “Outsider” as she was just “different.” I always hated the way that we looked at others as people who don’t belong just because that’s the way we were treated by everyone else.  
I taught her many things, from holding her staff, to healing a wound, and managing her magic when she was upset. She never talked about where she came from, or who her family members used to be, which was fine with me. It was nice to have her close to me, and there are long nights like these that I couldn’t help but miss her, wonder where she is, how she’s doing. My heart longed for her, she is the only person I have ever really loved.  
“Well,” I huffed, throwing rocks onto the frozen lake in front of me. “You’re one of the few that agreed with that decision.” The rock clashed to the ice, the sound, like shattering glass, and echoed off the rocks nearby. I sat down on the pier and swung my legs. Solas joined me, a grim look on his face. “I didn’t expect to have a lot of people backing me, but growing up, Templars… what they did.” I paused, trying not to think about the memories.  
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, my friend, I know the pain they leave in their wake.” He said calmly.  
With a hard shutter, I recall the day my life forever changed:  
NaVala, angry she couldn’t sheathe the stone in ice, catapulted the rock across the stream and into a gathering of Spindleweed.  
I couldn’t help but laugh at loud.  
“What?” She shrieked at me, her short blonde hair falling into her bright blue eyes.  
“Patience is the biggest virtue, Na.” I cooed. She gets up, looking at me in only the way a mischievous little sister could. “Na,” I warned. “Do not.” I looked up at her, knowing her plan.  
“Patience is a virtue.” She mocks my tone almost too well and before I know it, she’s stomping her feet in the slow-moving water, soaking me, and running into the woods nearby, laughing hysterically all the way.  
Stunned, I got up, grabbed my staff, and began chasing after her.  
“NA!” I screamed, trying to keep my laughter down. “You’d better be prepared for one hell of a payback!” Flying around the corner, I see Na.  
Multiple men in head to toe armor were in front of me; I didn’t know how I didn’t run into them. One of them, with a scraggly beard and a scar down his left eye was holding my dear Na. His hand over her mouth, and his other arm draped across her waist, in a way that made my stomach turn to knots. Tears ran down her cheeks, and onto his dirty hand. Her eyes were wide with fear, her knees shaking, barely holding up her delicate form. My mind was at instant attention, the unease creeping over my skin like goose bumps. The paint on their arms and armor named who they all were, whom they worked for, and their intentions. Templars.  
“Hey there, pretty lady.” One of them said, his eyebrow cocked, his voice was raspy, and low.  
“Let. Her. Go.” I hissed through clenched teeth.  
“Aww,” he mocked. “But that wouldn’t be very fun.”

\----

The memory of the whole thing makes my stomach turn, and I sit down in Solas’ chair. Clenching my eyes shut tight, I shove the memory back down. I couldn’t think of this now, if ever. I don’t ever need to go back to that place. A gut-wrenching sadness reaches me, and my only hope for her was that she wasn’t back in the arms of a Templar now, and that she was someplace safe.  
Taking a deep breath and opening my eyes, I take my thoughts back to the pier with Solas.

\----

I saw him playing with his Velfire. Lighting up the shadows the falling sun was painting in its wake.  
“It’s beautiful.” I mentioned.  
“Velfire?” He switched hands, and brought it close to my face. The feeling wasn’t warm like a real fire would be. I didn’t feel any sort of temperature difference. Its greenish glow was soft, and it sent electrical tingles into my cheeks. Solas pulled on my elbow, getting me to stand, and tossed the Velfire into the air. Instinctively I held out my hand, catching it, and studying it closely.  
“Don’t lose sight of it. Wielding it isn’t tricky. Take the anger behind summoning your real fire, and change it to a soothing nature. That’s Velfire.” He coached me, holding the bottom of my hand, to ensure I didn’t let it go out.

 The memory of our first real moments together makes me smile as I am brought back to Skyhold, in his space once again. Getting up from his chair, I walk back out into the Main Hall. How long had I been in thought? It was easy to get lost in my memories. Being a mage, I venture back into my memories in my sleep, and a lot during the day as well. But I’m sure everyone can do the day dream thing, not just mages. I just like to use it as an excuse. I glance over at the large stained glass window behind my “bitch seat.” I giggle at the memory of accidentally calling it that in front of Leliana.  
The soft blue colors in the glass were becoming brighter, and I know dawn wasn’t far off. People would be up preparing breakfast soon. Yawning, I make my way back to my quarters, knowing all too well Josephine would be appalled to know people saw me in my “poor clothes.”  
Lying back down, I look up at the ceiling and sigh. Today is going to be a long day...


	2. Commander Crabby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's POV on the decisions of the Inquisitor and why she's cold with him.

It’s been almost three months without lyrium, and the effects are beginning to take a toll. Growing restless, and cranky, Cullen tosses and turns in bed. He was Godly tired, but too scared to fall asleep. The nightmares of his past, and the ones he frets are his future, haunt his nights. The endless days of training, handling the runners, and fighting in the War Room were no better.  
For shit’s sake, why couldn’t she have chosen the Order? It would have been so much easier, he thought, rolling onto his other side. But would it have been? Something has been weird with the Order for a while, and filling this establishment up with people he wasn’t sure he knew anymore might not have been the best decision either. Especially since he’d decided he didn’t want ties with any such establishment other than the Inquisition. His soul purpose was here, and he knew it.  
It seemed either decision would have had close to the same outcome: People pissed off and his job just as hard.  
With a sigh, he gets up from bed and dresses. No use in trying to sleep tonight. Climbing down the ladder and dragging his feet to his desk, Cullen sits down. Rubbing his temples, he eyes his lyrium case.  
“You’ve ruined me.” He whispers. Grabbing it, he shoves it into his desk drawer and lays his head in his hands. Can I do this? Am I strong enough? I must have some sort of back up if I can’t. I must talk to Cassandra, and Andraste knows that The Herald will think. Does he care what the Herald thinks?  
Scrunching his eyebrows together, he hears his sister Mia complaining already. “Cullen, squishing your face up like that will only make you look older.” He laughs at the thought. He needs to write her, I’m sure she’s in shambles after hearing what happened in Haven.  
Sighing, he turns his chair to look out the small window in the back of his office. Much more of an upgrade than Haven, but terrible the number of people we lost. The names of the families that needed to be notified sat on his desk, way too long of a list for his liking. Corypheus will pay for what he’s done. Rage consumes him, making his hands shake and his knees weak. He’ll never forget that day at the Conclave, and the short weeks afterward.

He remembered the first time he saw the Herald, she was dressed in ragged armor, dark circles that ran as deep as the oceans under her eyes, and the raw mark consuming her every bit of energy, and life.  
“Commander,” Cassandra stated, “this is Eloren.” She motions over to the small elven women to her left. Eloren looks up at him, no sparkle to her eyes, all liveliness sucked away with the power of her mark.  
“H-Hello.” He stutters. She said nothing, letting her head hang down at her tired feet, breathing heavily.  
Her red hair was knotted, her armor blood stained. This poor woman had seen battle, and desperately needed some rest.

\---

Cullen rises from his seat and begins pacing the room. Even though she chose the mages, he couldn’t help but be absolutely fascinated with her. The War Room conversations weren’t the best, he knew he’d pushed too hard on his opinion of the mages. Her distaste in him was palpable. He had to drop it, she chose who she chose because of who she thought was the better candidate for closing the Breach. He must accept it, even if it wasn’t what he’d have chosen.

Looking over at a lit candle, at the end of its wick now, he remembered how beautiful she was when she was titled our Inquisitor.

\---

Looking up at her, holding our cause’s sword in her hands, she spoke softly to Cassandra and Leliana. She was nervous, he could tell, as anyone should be. Her cheeks were fuller, her mark on her hand calmer, her curves slowly coming back to her with grace. The sun shone off her armor, much better than the set he first saw her in. She declared she’d serve the Inquisition to the best of her abilities, and beat Corypheus bloody. He believed her, he had never had so much faith in someone.  
 She was smart, and witty. He listened to her plans in the War Room and knew she’d never made a decision out of haste, which he seemed to be guilty of doing from time to time. She strode with such confidence, and determination. Her green eyes shined in a way that most others didn’t. Was it because he liked them, or because they were truly different? She was so quick to accomplish things in the Hinterlands and he cherished that it was her first priority. She was gone in the morning when he went for his early morning tea, and still didn’t return when he hopelessly watched the gates for her and her crew late at night.  
There’s something about this mind-boggling woman that he couldn’t get enough of, and it’s kept him up late many nights. When the good dreams came, they’re of her full lips and cute giggle he’d always heard when she spoke to Iron Bull and his crew of misfits in the Tavern.  
Even though her magical abilities made him nervous, he watched her train with Solas and Cassandra. The way she wields her staff is a beautiful sight, almost a dance, as she twirls herself around with her magic. She’s in complete control, never wavering, and always up for learning more from Solas or Dorian. It made him re-think the way that Templars looked at mages; how mages could just go rogue and be dangerous to people. He knew that the Fade had many secrets to damaging mages and what it could do to them; he’s seen it first hand. But Eloren was different. He couldn’t imagine her ever losing her focus, or being controlled by something, or someone else. Her independence shook him. How could someone so alone in how they’re feeling carry it with such ease?  
He shook his head in frustration. She’s never spoken to him, other than asking about our fatalities in Haven, and how well she thought he’d handled the situation. He felt that he could only blame her keeping her distance on his harsh outburst when she spoke of her decision on choosing the mages back in Haven. That had to have been the reason, as she seems to be on friendly terms with everyone else. It’s been eating away at him ever since. Was it jealousy? He needed to apologize, he just didn’t know how. She was so intimidating and full of mystery. He’d never been good with women, but this one, this one was different, and he wanted to do it right.  
\--- Coming to his conclusions, Cullen finally had paced himself to a sleepy place. Climbing back up the ladder once more, he lay in bed, looking out the cracked door to his balcony. All the lights were off, and everyone lay sleeping. It was eerily quiet, something the Commander was never used to. If it wasn’t his brothers and sisters clambering about as kids, it was always the clashing and banging of heavy equipment through his tough training as a Templar in Kirkwall. Slowly his eyes begin to droop and he felt sleep creeping over him. The last thoughts through his foggy mind were of her, and hoping her Grace would visit him in his sleep.


	3. Unique Circumstances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor has a unique conversation with the Commander, one that she least expected.

Feeling the warm sun on my face, I knew it was late. I knew instantly I’d missed breakfast, and I knew the council meeting has already started without me.  
Sighing, I roll onto my side and open my eyes.  
“Good Morning, My Lady Harold!” A voice like velvet greets me, scaring me half to death. Across from me, sprawled out like a Sassy God, is the mischievous Dorian.  
“Good Morning, Dorian.” I answer, more so to be polite than anything.  
“Dragons balls!” He sits up abruptly, knocking one of my pillows off the bed. “Your breath, my friend, it could kill the manliest of nugs!” He says, swiping the air away from his nose like a gnat.  
“Well maybe if you’d greet me like a normal human being in the morning, you wouldn’t have to deal with my morning breath!” I huff as I get out of bed and clamber into my “Proper Herald Attire” as Josephine calls it.  
“WELL THEN!” Dorian shouts overdramatically. “I was originally sent because your royal ass was late to your meeting, but then I got distracted by your elegant furnishings and your manly snore. I had to soak as much of it in as possible!”  
“I do not snore!” I proclaim as I tuck in my dark blue patterned shirt.  
“Oh, don’t you?” He smirks at me, stretching out further across my bed.  
“Don’t you have other people to be pestering, Dorian?” I giggle as I throw a decorative pillow from my chair at him.  
Deflecting it with a ward, he calmly gets up and saunters over to me. “Dear, dear. Get the mice nests out of your hair and get down to that meeting, you’re already an hour and a half late.” He smiles at me and winks on his way down the stairs.  
An hour and a half!?

Bursting through the Council Room doors, I see my super three staring intently at the map on the table. They all look up at once, slowly, disappointed looks upon their faces. I smile sheepishly.  
“Next time I’ll be the one to come up.” Leliana purrs. Oh, that’s terrifying to even think about. I jog over to the table, giving the best, and cutest apologetic look I could muster.  
“So, now that we’ve moved to Skyhold, we’ll have much more comfortable accommodations for our Mage allies.” Josephine quips, checking off something on her “to do” list. Cullen, resting his hand on his hilt, sighs quietly. I know he doesn’t like the idea, but he’s honestly just going to have to get the hell over it.  
“Great,” I start, “it’s about time they’re put in a more comfortable position.” I sound a lot crabbier than I intend to, and a little harsher. The Commander shifts his weight to his other foot, and Josephine looks at me, a little hurt.  
“My spies have found that more rifts are opening up in the Hinterlands, and we’re still trying to locate the missing patrol in The Fallow Mire.” Leliana chimes.  
I sigh, how is it I just woke up, a little different than usual mind you, and I’m already exhausted? “I’ll keep you updated as I get more information.” Always an influx of information, never wavering. “I’m still working on building our influences throughout Ferelden, to get us a little more support. I’ll need you to decide how to handle these few requests, if you wouldn’t mind?” Josephine coos, and spreads a stack of papers in front of me, waiting to be read and signed.  
Today was going to be a long one.

 Walking out of the War Room, I’m stopped by the nervous voice of the Commander. “Um. Herald?” Looking over my shoulder, I see he’s jogging to catch up to me, his armor clanking about. I stop and turn toward him, my arms crossed. This ought to be interesting. He stops a few feet in front of me, twiddling his fingers under his thick leather gloves.  
“Yes, Commander.” I try to sound curt.  
“I was wondering if I could speak to you, in my office?” He doesn’t look at me, his eyes darting around the small hallway. I’m shocked a little bit, almost like a kid being punished for not doing their chores.  
“Uh..” I stutter a little bit, “sure, Commander, whatever you need.” I lower my arms to my sides and study him.  
“G-great. I’ll see you there.” He says, walking swiftly away, shaking his head. Was this towards me, or himself? What have I done to deserve a private yelling over a public one?  
 Walking out into the Main Hall, I see Varric studying a parchment, too hard for someone I know is completely literate.  
“Woah, Varric, I thought you knew how to read.” I giggle as I approach him. He oozes his low frustrated chuckle.  
“You’d think, yeah? But I’ve got terrible writer’s block, not to mention this low lander creep writing things claiming to be me and then using it to harm people.” He sighs. “I’ve already come close to enough harm, with Cassandra counting the teeth she’s knocked out of me and damn near wanting me hung.” I’d remembered the last update from Leliana was her desperately trying to find out who this hack writer was, and especially how he’d gotten in and out of Skyhold without anyone even batting an eye. Now for Cassandra, that was a more difficult battle to fight, let alone win. Keeping Hawke a secret wasn’t the best idea for Varric, one that none of us were particularly pleased about either, but I understand the need to protect his dear, and almost only, friend.  
“Varric,” I say, gently touching his shoulder, “how about the next outing you come with me. Maybe spearing some demons might help ease your stress?” I try and keep the smile out of my tone. He huffs in response.  
“Thanks, Inquisitor. You know I always like to land an arrow or two in those creepy assholes.” He makes me feel a little bit better by answering me with a smile. I pat him on the back and keep walking, knowing that I should get to the Commander’s office eventually. But I think avoiding it a little longer will do us both some good.  
Walking down into the courtyard, I don’t see Cassandra in her usual place fighting her evil dummy, but rather sitting in the grass under her tree, reading.  
Jaunting over to greet her, before I could even get a word from my mouth, she jumps back with a gasp, hiding the book in her hands.  
“Good book?” I quip.  
“Oh, that? That’s nothing,” She hides the book even further behind her back, not showing me the cover. “It’s nothing you’d be interested in, I’m sure. Just reports from Commander Cullen.” She doesn’t make eye contact with me.  
“You know, for how well you can beat up a dummy, you sure are a terrible liar.” Trying to stay serious, my smile fails me, and my tone is a little lighter than I’d planned. She smirks at me and shows me the cover.  
“Alright, it’s a book. One of Varric’s stupid tales, “Swords and Shields,” the latest chapter, it’s leaving me at a cliffhanger! It’s so terrible, but so wonderful all at the same time! Damn smutty literature! You can’t tell him I’m reading this, I will find you, and I will end you.” She says, spewing this all in a matter of seconds. Her mood fighting her passion for the book and her strong reputation she’s trying to uphold. I can’t help but giggle at her expense.  
“So you’re telling me you’ve read them all then?” I ask, still unable to wipe my smile away.  
“Well, no, not since this all started, I don’t have the time to stop and read a chapter whilst out bantering with you, now do I?”  
“Of course she’s read them all!” Another voice, belonging to the one and only Dorian, pipes into our conversation.  
“Shut it, Tevinter.” She glowers.  
“Aw, no need to be calling names now! I couldn’t even finish the last one you loaned me, I actually feel dumber having tried.” He snaps, walking past us with his head held up high.  
“I’m sure Varric would love to know you’re his biggest fan.” I say.  
“I am not!” She huffs. “Pretend you don’t know this about me.” She glares at me and pulls the book back out, walking away from me, I’d assume, to read in a more private place. If she thought I could leave this alone, she was mistaken. It seems like too much of an opportunity to have these two make amends, not to mention hilarious.  
I’ll have to sneak this past Varric another time, but for now, the Commander is calling me.  
 Approaching his quarters, I begin to get sweaty palms. I can’t fathom why he’s asked me here, and it’s making me uncomfortable. Knocking on the door, it swings open, and there’s one of Leliana’s agents speaking with him about a report on Corypheus’ next shipment of Red Lyrium into the Hissing Wastes. He sighs and signs the report; the runner looks at both of us, and then hastily leaves the room.  
“You wanted to see me?” I need to get this over as soon as possible.  
He sighs again and looks at me, “Yes, I did. I called you here… to apologize.” His face flushes.  
This takes me by surprise, and all my walls I’d built up towards the Commander, and this moment, come crashing down. “I shouldn’t have been so harsh about your decision to go with the mages. If anything, I should have known better. I know the Order isn’t for everyone, just like it isn’t for me anymore. I humbly apologize for my actions. I never intended to hurt your feelings or put you on edge. If anything, that’s the last thing I want to do with you. I mean to you.” His face blushes and his eyes pull away from me for the first time since I entered the room.  
A little confused, I walk closer to him, and lean up against his bookshelf, never taking my eyes from him. “Wow. This isn’t at all what I expected coming in here, I must confess.” I said, looking down at my hands. He doesn’t say anything. He just moves his hands nervously, like he did in the hall. “Thank you, Cullen.” I say. He nods as he messes with a few papers on his desk.  
“But Cullen? What do you mean the Order isn’t for you anymore; you can’t just quit, can you? You took a vow.” I stand up straight, I almost want to pace, but I didn’t want to make the situation more uncomfortable than it needed to be.  
“I’ve stopped taking lyrium.” He begins, hesitant of my reaction. “I haven’t been taking it for quite some time now, really since Cassandra asked me to join her cause. I’ve asked her to keep an eye on me, and if this gets in the way of any of my duties, I’ve asked her to remove me from the Inquisition.”  
This was all serious news to me, so many feelings running through my mind, I couldn’t pick one. I knew that Templars suffered, if not died after stopping lyrium and I knew that everything out of his mouth was honest and sincere. I trusted Cassandra’s judgment, but a large part of me all the sudden didn’t want him to leave us. He’s detrimental to our cause, and I don’t know if anyone could ever fill his shoes, or if I’d want them to. Against all my other conflicting feelings, I chose compassion.  
“Cullen, are you okay?”  
“I’ve seen worse times, the beginning was the worst, but I’m learning to deal with it more now. I will not be bound to that life, or the Order any longer. My soul purpose is being here, in the Inquisition.” His voice gets softer when he speaks these last words.  
I step backwards, and look at him fully. He puts his hands on his desk, and looks at the open lyrium container. Grabbing it with force, he hurls it across the room, barely missing a runner coming in.  
“Oh, Maker. I’m sorry!” He blanches, clearly upset with his outburst. The runner looks at both of us, wide eyed. Shakily he asks, “Commander, will you please look at this report from Leliana?” Cullen waves him in, and he cautiously steps over the shattered wood splinters, glass, and small puddle of lyrium.  
Walking towards it, I begin to pick up the pieces in my hands, cleaning up the mess. While the Commander and the runner talk, I completely ignore them, using this time to think about his apology. The pieces of glass clink together in my hands, stacking quite nicely on top of my palm.  
It was nice of him to apologize for his harshness about my decision to choose the mages; quite frankly, I was beginning to tire of hearing him complain about it all. Maybe we could walk on even ground now, instead of butting heads together all the time. We need to stand together in this mess, not fight amongst one other.  
“Get it done, now!” Cullen’s sharp voice erupts around the room, pulling me from my thoughts. The sharpness alarms me, causing me to jump, and the top piece of my glass tower to slip off, and slice its way across my palm before clinking onto the solid wood floor.  
“Shit!” I hiss, as blood begins to pool in my hand, I stand up and walk towards a bucket by the door, dropping all the pieces in before tearing off the end of my undershirt and wrapping my hand up in it to stop the bleeding. Josephine will be thrilled to see another shirt ruined.  
“Yes, Sir. Thank you, Commander.” The runner clips, his eyes the size of apples.  
I look up, and meet Cullen straight in the eyes.  
“Inquisitor, you didn’t have to – Are you okay?” The alarm in his voice hitches when he sees my hand tied up in my white shirt, blood seeping through the makeshift bandage.  
“No, it’s fine,” I stammer, looking down at the cloth. “I’d heal it myself but I can’t quite get my wards down yet, and Solas has been terribly busy studying the fade. I’ll head down to the barracks and see one of the Sisters, they’ll stitch me up.” I try and smile at him.  
“Oh no, by all means, sit. They’re busy tending to the wounded from Haven still, I can help you.” He says, touching my shoulder and guiding me to the chair next to his desk. I hesitantly sit as he digs through his multiple desk drawers piled and piled with paperwork. I think I even see a few left over muffin napkins in there before he finds a small healer’s kit. Opening it up on his desk he grabs the small vial of elfroot extract and bandages.  
“Here, let me see.” He says softly, holding out his hands. I put my hand in his, rather carefully. His skin was warm, and his calloused hands scream “soldier” and “I’ve seen more than you’ll ever know.”  
“Can I trust you know what you’re doing?” I quip, sarcastically. He chuckles low in this throat and begins to unwrap my hand. “I’ve had some medical training, Inquisitor.” Opening my palm, he looks over the cut in my hand, the blood still beginning to pool in the creases of my palm and fingertips.  
“Well, luckily you’ll only need a few stitches, it’s not very long, but it’s pretty deep. You can move your fingers?” He asks, not making eye contact, grabbing the Elfroot and dumping it on the bandages.  
I move my fingers hesitantly, touching the bottom of his palm. His breath hitches before he grabs the bandages and begins cleaning the wound. The elfroot stings and makes my palm warm with its healing touch.  
It helps clot the blood and my hand begins to quiet. Grabbing a small needle and thread from the box he begins to stitch.  
I squish my face up in agony as the needle makes its first appearance at the beginning of the cut.  
“Don’t move it, Inquisitor, it’ll only make it worse.” He states, not stopping his assault on my hand.  
I huff and grit my teeth together, keeping my eyes shut. 

It felt like days before I heard him clear his throat and say he was finished. Opening my eyes, I see my hand laid on his desk, wrapped in linen, and clean. He wiped up all the blood from his desk, and deposited the kit back in his top right drawer. Not where he found it, by the way. Once he was finished he looked at me, hands on the pommel of his sword.  
“All finished, now was that so horrible, Inquisitor?” He mocked.  
“No, thank you.” I hiss, as I hastily stand, causing the chair to squeak across the floor. I head towards the door; a little hot headed, as he seems to be belittling me.  
“Inquisitor? Are you alright?” He said, walking around his desk, alarmed at my feverish escape.  
“Going to go make Solas teach me my wards.” I grumble, slamming the door behind me.


	4. Belittling Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Cullen’s “Doctoring,” he struggles with dealing over the Inquisitor’s absence. But what he finally receives soothes his overbearing worries.

The Inquisitor stomps out of his office, slamming the door behind her making the small circular handle clink as it bounces off the plate on the door a few times.  
Before he could open the door again to apologize for his snide remark, another agent barrels into his office.  
“Commander.” He greets. “I was sent to inform you on our next move.” He says curtly.  
“What is it?” He answers, concerned.  
“We’ve located the missing crew in the Fallow Mire. Leliana asked me to tell the Inquisitor immediately, and she’s leaving with her crew now. Leliana said to have you begin preparations for the soldier’s return, if indeed they do arrive.”  
Cullen sighs, grabbing the parchment from him and signing off that he would begin work around the barracks to make room for the hurt soldiers. “Thank you, you’re dismissed.” He says, his tone harsher than expected.  
“Yes, Commander.” He replies and swiftly leaves the room. The commander follows him out and stands on the battlements. He watches as The Inquisitor gathers her belongings and shoves them in the mount bags, talking quickly and assertively. He listens closely to her orders.  
“I need Solas, Cole, and Dorian front and center. We leave now.” Her voice reaches him, the tone she’s using means business, and it almost makes him want to move his feet. He hadn’t felt so intimidated since Templar Training. With a swift jump, she’s saddled and ready to go. The bandage on her hand showing a tinge of red where his makeshift stitches had clearly pulled at the wound while she was packing. The crew joins her momentarily and with a nudge of her toes, they’re off, galloping out the front gates.  
Walking towards the other side of the battlements he watches them cross the bridge and descend the steps, listening to her orders until he couldn’t hear them anymore.  
“Well, I guess it’s a start.” He whispers to himself, shaking his head slightly. Running his hands over the back of his neck, he made mental note to not be so sour with The Inquisitor. 

***

She’s been gone a week. Cullen hasn’t dare slept. Every night he’s up, watching the gates for their return. He said too much, how could he have been so stupid to let that slip? He didn’t even know why he was so bent up about her leaving so abruptly; and angry with him for that matter. Even still, he hadn’t felt this way in ages, if ever at all. His days were blurred, sending out recruits for training, dealing with Dagna and her incessant questions about the Order, and signing off on more reports than he could count. He couldn’t help but almost live in Leliana’s quarters, waiting on her messengers to come back with any word from the crew. All he knew was it was cold, rainy, and desolate in The Fallow Mire. The plague had taken out any form of human life, and the demons were running rampant, more powerful without anyone getting in their way. The missing crew had been gone almost three weeks, and she never gave up hope. The crew could be dead, in the hands of the Avvar, but nothing was going to stop her. She’d find them, and bring them back, period.  
“Commander,” Josephine coos. “Commander?”  
Cullen looks up at her, lost in his own thoughts. “We must get preparations made for the ones we lost at Haven.” She looks at him strangely.  
“Ah, yes. I’ll have the notices sent out by tomorrow evening to the families letting them know the Inquisition will support them through the loses of their loved ones.”  
“Good, I would like to hold a ceremony at Haven, I think there should be a memorial, maybe with a ribbon cutting.” She hastily writes down her ideas as they come to her, her quill always going a hundred miles an hour. He doesn’t answer her. The past few meetings didn’t feel complete without the Herald. He stood, his hands resting on the pommel of his sword and watched as Leliana and Josie wrangled through a few more plans regarding how to get more political support for Maker knows what.  
Upon release, he slumps up to his tower, and sits down at his desk. He begins working on the paperwork for Haven. There were so many names to write, so many grievances to give, and it only depressed him further.  
Hearing a mischievous giggle from upstairs, he climbs up the ladder to find Sera, hands deep in some sort of concoction she made up, dumping it into a bucket. It was all over the floor, her clothes, and somehow his bed.  
“Oh! Commander!” She looks up, fear flitting across her face for a second, soon to be replaced with a devious smile. “I didn’t think you’d be back from your meeting so soon.” Her hands were a dark blue, and she kept peeking out the window.  
“Sera, what are you doing here?” He couldn’t help the curiosity in his voice, though it annoyed him slightly to have lost his privacy, and now having to sleep in a blue stained bed. Sera giggles, and looks over at him, holding a dark blue, gooey finger to her lips, leaving a line where they’d just touched, motioning for him to be quiet. Before long, she jumps with excitement, and dumps the goo out the window, squealing with delight as it tumbles over the side of his tower. Seconds pass before you hear it splashing down on the unsuspecting person below.  
Before he could guess who, Iron Bull’s thunder of a voice echoes up the stone walls and into his ears.  
“What in the fu—SERA!” It shook the walls, and echoed throughout Skyhold, shaking Cullen to the bone. Sera drops the bucket, and it clashes to the ground with a thud. In seconds, she’s over the balcony on the other side of the room, and running across the bridge, towards the Main Hall. Iron Bull, sticky and blue, was right behind her speaking too much Quinari for Cullen to understand. He was leaving giant blue, sparkly footprints behind every long stridden step.  
He swears her laughter could be heard for miles. He couldn’t help but chuckle. Those two always in cahoots with one other seemed to keep Skyhold a little brighter. He picked up the bucket and dropped it on his balcony to dry, and hopefully not be used on another victim any time soon.  
Climbing back down into his office, and out onto the battlements, he leans against the stone wall, looking out at the beautiful landscape before him. The mountains seem to kiss the sky, the snowcaps on top of them finally dwindling down with the warm summer sun. The trees were a lovely green, and the birds were singing joyfully as they flew excitedly around him in the warmth of the evening.  
“Commander,” a young woman spoke sternly. He quickly turned to face her. Her face covered in freckles, orange hair cut short, like the way she spoke to him. She was holding a piece of parchment in her hands. “For you, from the Herald.” He hastily grabs it out of her hand, thanking her and dismissing her from her duties with a wave of his wrist.  
Her handwriting was small, a bit messy, and clearly it had been written in the dark. Raindrops interfered with a lot of the letters, and the sides were torn to shreds. It faintly smelled like bog mud, and a nug’s asshole.

Cullen –  
I’m sorry I rushed out on you so quickly. Honestly, I was completely overwhelmed at everything you were telling me. A lot was thrown at me all at once, and I’m glad to have been gone this week, I needed time to think it all through. I respect your decision to stop taking lyrium and I fully believe it’s something you can handle, even if it gets the best of you sometimes. Besides the fact I’ve been stuck in the wettest terrain on the planet with Dorian, Cole, and Solas as my only company, thinking about your apology has kept my spirits up. I should also tell you a proper thank you for stitching up my hand; luckily Solas has kept it from getting infected in this wasteland.  
I look forward to seeing you soon back at Skyhold.  
P.S.  
Sorry for getting angry with you and storming out.  
P.P.S.  
Maybe you should not be a belittling ass though.  
-       Eloren  
He chuckles at the end of her note, finally knowing that’s why she stormed out. He makes a mental note to apologize for being so sour with her and he tucks the paper in his chest plate for safekeeping. Cullen looks up at the setting sun, the sky blooming into striking orange, yellow, and scarlet hues.  
He smiles and whispers quietly to himself,  
“Soon, Inquisitor.”


	5. Crushed It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloren and crew fight through the Mire, the Avaar patiently waiting.

“Only one more to go, Inquisitor.” Solas huffs, out of breath from our journey through the Mire.  
“For the love of Andraste! You’d think, being soaking wet, fighting demons at every lovely, creepy Velfire statue thing, in the middle of the night would be a fun thing! Let’s definitely do one more!” Dorian’s sarcasm is running thin with my patience.  
“Cold.” Cole whispers.   
We’d been fighting for five days straight. Everything from the incessant rifts, to the Velfire statues, and then the walking dead coming up from the bog water. My under garments are permanently soaked, and my lady bits have had enough. It never crossed my mind the thought of wet armor on a sensitive breast would make it chafe.  
“I think we should camp here for the night.” I say, rolling my eyes at Dorian. “I can’t hardly stand, and I may be the only expert in fire magic here right now, but I’ve not felt this type of ice in my bones ever in my life.” I shiver all over.  
“Over there.” Cole points over to a rock that had an overhang large enough for us four to huddle up for the remainder of the evening. “The bodies don’t mind if we sit on them.”  
Despite how morbid this all was, I needed to rest. Huddling under the rock, Dorian and I pitched the tent all four of us would try and stay dry in. While Solas kept watch and Cole wrenched all the water from his hat, we struggle through the flimsy poles and wet canvas until we get it up.  
It took all of thirty seconds for the canvas in the bottom of our tent to be soaked through and mud stained. Solas, too interested in his surroundings to give up watch, let us three clamber in and try to get some rest.  
Hours pass, and sleep never comes to me. Cole, sprawled out on top of both Dorian and I and snoring lightly, keeps me a little warmer than before. Dorian had turned on his side, complaining quietly in his dreams. Rolling onto my side, I summon a fireball within my palm to generate some heat and light for me to write. I need to send word to Leliana, and a personal note to Cullen.  
This whole adventure, and he’s never fully left my mind. My soul goal is to get to my crew, somewhere in the clutches of the asshole Avaar, but Cullen always falls into my thoughts at night, when I was alone.  
He’d decided to stop taking lyrium, and maybe it made him so crazy that he decided to just be a grumpy prick? I never had any sort of conversation with him at all before, and for that I feel sorry. His continuous hammering of my decisions didn’t help matters, but it was time I let it go.  
After finishing my reports to Leliana, and my personal note to Cullen, I sneak out from under Cole’s clutches and venture outside to Solas.  
“Can’t sleep, friend?” He whispers, the rain making it even harder to hear him than normal.  
“I got a little, but I thought I’d give you a breather.” I say, sloshing my toes in the puddle that had begun to form in my boot.  
“This place isn’t ideal, but I’d like to come back here and search for the lost memories that people left behind in the Fade.” He confides. I think about that for a minute. The only time I ever used the Fade in my dreams was to go back to times I was involved in, never anything before that. I guess I’m not much of a history buff.  
“Do you ever go back into your old memories, with your family, or loved ones?”  
“I’ve always cherished being alone,” He murmurs, “so being with anyone that I’d met in waking life, I like to keep there, and meet the spirits I wouldn’t walk into in day to day life.” He is so mysterious to me, the way he thought was so abstract and strange. He was lovely to talk to, but hard to relate to. “Maybe one day I’ll take you with me?” He peers at me from over his shoulder. I’d never considered that before, and I definitely didn’t know it was possible.  
“I’d like that.” I smile at him.  
We sit quietly for awhile. “Solas, I’ve been meaning to thank you.”I say, speaking over the downpour.   
“For?” He looks at me now, bewildered.   
“Taking care of me In Haven.”   
“Oh, ‘twas nothing, friend. Your care that is. That mark of yours is something else though. And studying it is maddening.”  
“Arrrgghhh!” A conflicted gurgle rose from the tent, causing Solas and I to jump up, staffs in hand. Fire was rising into my core, ready to release the fireball growing within me. To our demise, Cole comes flying out of the tent, his shirt over his head, hat gone, and one sock missing. “The bugs. They’re biting me!”  
***  
“Herald of Andraste! FACE ME!” His voice echoes off the castle walls, causing the fire within me to rise once again. His minions did a number on me on the way in, my cheekbone dripping with blood from one of his assassin’s blades, and my mana running low. My crew was being held hostage here, I had to face him, there was no peace talking myself out of this one. Solas and Dorian joining my sides, and Cole sheathing himself in darkness, we head in.  
I charge ahead, the first of his army’s arrows shatter against my ward, sending splinters in all different directions. My hand aches, the green glow growing brighter with my pulse. He’s flanked by multiple men, dressed in heavy armor, carrying their weapons of choice. Before being able to fully examine the situation, one man is already sheathed in ice, his screams halted by the rock of ice forming in his lungs before shattering him into a thousand pieces. The frozen body parts crash to the floor, making an oddly satisfying clanking noise on the stone. Dorian huffs at his own skill before moving onto the next one. Solas is consumed in wards, all while watching Cole slice and dice his way through more enemies. Assessing my situation, I walk forward, coming toe to toe with the Avvar who has my men.   
I stop feet within his reach, his maul in both hands, waiting to strike.  
“You have my men.” I say, the tone of my voice even surprising me.  
“You have my land.” He responds. Seconds later, letting out a war cry strong enough to move mountains, he swings. Ducking down to avoid his maul, I roll off to the side and release my rift above him, pouring all my hatred into it and watching as it looms above him, ripping his skin from his limbs, blood splattering against my ward and spilling onto the ground. His agonizing screams were enough to shatter glass. Balls of ice and streams of electrical charges bombarded my vision as they smashed into any of his remaining friends, turning them all into a frozen piles of dust.  
Despite my debilitating rift, he lunges forward, striking my midsection and shattering me into a stone pillar. The stones fall around us, dust flying into the night air.  
My breath is taken from me, my head throbbing, and with my rift close to an end, I am pinned. His weight crushes my already shattered rib cages, I can’t breathe, and the darkness is consuming me.  
The last thing I see is Solas, releasing his winter storm; furious snowflakes swirled around us, freezing the tears falling from my eyes almost instantly and then paralyzing all my muscles with every icy blast. Cole appears from the darkness, leaping into the air, and grabbing ahold of the Avaar’s face. Pushing off my crumpled body, he fights him from his knees. With the sheer stealth, only Cole could muster, he slides his knife across the Avaar’s throat like butter, muffling his screams. The rift dissipates, and all of us pause, while he mumbles his last words.  
“There…. Will… be… vengeance.” He stifles before he falls face first into the river of blood the rain and our fight has created. Then everything goes black.

“Ah, yes. You’ve returned to me.” A velvety voice comes to me, and I open my eyes. Commander Cullen’s golden eyes are staring into mine, the sun shining through his hair and onto my face. I’m filled with warmth and butterflies. “You’re so beautiful.” He coos. A smile comes to me, a genuine one, one I hadn’t felt in ages. I run my hand up his cheek, playing with the stubble on his chin. He closes his eyes and lets out a resigned sigh. I sit up, and I’m in a field of mountain flowers, near me is a lake, the lily pads in bloom. I look up at the sky, the clouds fluffy and white, the trees moving ever so slightly in the mountain breeze. I look back at my Serene Cullen, who’s face is twisted in pain, his eyes straining to hold back tears, the sky starts dumping rain, and the smell of blood seeps into my nostrils. I look down, and I’m sheathed in blood, sweat and rainwater. I look at Cullen, terrified; he’s holding my face in his hands. “Eloren. ELOREN. Please! Don’t leave me. Come back to me!” He shouts, shaking me as my vision goes out once more.  
“Herald, please!” His voice fades, and the sounds of thunder detonate around me. “Herald!” It’s replaced with Solas’ screams of terror; I open my eyes to Dorian holding up healing wards and Cole searching desperately in his bag for the last healing potion. Solas is holding me, rocking me back and fourth to keep me conscious.  
My ribs are aching, my breathing almost impossible. Blood is spilling from my face, making it hard to see. “There you are. Don’t leave me now, Herald! Hold on. Please hold on!” He pleads.  
“Here hurry. She’s scared!” Cole runs over to me, and tips the potion onto my expectant lips. The warm, tingling liquid runs down my throat and settles in my empty stomach. It instantly takes effect as it travels through my system, leaving tingly repairs along its wake.  
I lift my arm up to Solas, where clutched in the palm of my hand was the key, and a sly grin stretches across my face.


	6. Bruised and Bloodied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloren is back in the safe stone walls of Skyhold. But her injuries are a little worse than expected.

Cullen tried sitting in the Main Dining hall, but watching the healers coming in and out of The Inquisitor’s quarters was unsettling. He tried his office, but the distance that he was from her, and the terms they’d left on was even worse. Knowing that she might not make it was causing a slight stir in morale, and fear was palpable.  
He decided being up in her quarters with everyone else was the way to go, and the most calming for him. Currently, he was listening to her breath rhythmically humming through her rib cages, her chest rising and falling in unison. Only occasionally would the pain catch up with her and her breath would hitch slightly. He watches her from her desk, as he speaks with Josie and Leliana about her reports, and filled out his own.   
Unfortunately, her arriving on a makeshift cot, bloodied, bruised and semi-conscious wasn’t the best thing for everyone to see, but the healers who arrived immediately after she did the night before said she’d be fine, after a few more days of rest and healing potions.   
He remembers the night before vividly:  
After getting Eloren to her quarters, Cassandra removed her armor, and re-dressed her wounds with the healers at her side. As Cullen paced, he noticed her underclothes were blackened with bog mud and sweat. She was chaffed where her armor wore into her soft skin over and over, with each step, each swing of her staff. He’d not seen a woman this naked in a long time, and because of the circumstances, he tried to keep it as professional as possible by staying back, even through his worry.  
Leliana was talking to Solas on the couch, as he mindlessly kept his healing ward up around her while recalling the events as accurately as he could. Cole sat by her bedside, whispering quietly, rocking back and forth on the rickety chair. The flowers Iron Bull picked from outside the gates were the brightest things in the room, keeping everyone a little lighter than before. Cullen strained to read the handwriting on the note he shoved into one of the flowers, making it droop slightly more than the others:   
“Please get better, Boss. We need you to kick demon ass. - Bull.” 

“How long do you think she’s going to be down, Sister?” Cassandra whispered. Changing her bandages, Sister Erin estimated at least a weak, even with the potions and strict bed rest. Cullen huffed when “bed rest” was mentioned. Turning over her shoulder, Cassandra smirked at him. “Her ribs are the worst part, and she’s going to be sore for months to come. She’s lucky that mongrel didn’t pierce her lungs.” Sister Erin began treating the worst of the wounds, those red and full of puss from mud exposure and no treatment. The smell of the elfroot cream she was putting on Eloren’s bruised body filled the room with the smell of mint and rain water.  
“Here, Darling,” Dorian cooed. “Let me finish this up, you’ve been at this for hours, and you look entirely too exhausted.”   
“What’s that mean, exactly?” Cassandra huffed, handing Dorian the dirty rags.   
“It means you look like an exhausted nug and should let me handle it from here while you go try and get some much-needed beauty rest!” He hollered at her, matching her glare.   
“Fine!” She shouted back. “Sister Erin, please meet me in my quarters when you’re both finished, we should make some more elfroot potions.” She hissed as she stomped down stairs.

This morning is calm, the sun rising sneakily above the mountain tops, lighting the room with its soft orange glow. Getting up from her desk, Cullen pokes the fire; the wood everyone has kept in here all night was now large, red coal. He walks out onto the balcony and peeks around the corner where his troops are getting up, and heading to the Main Hall for breakfast. Luckily for him Iron Bull is taking charge of them while he tends to Eloren. It looks like Bull decided to sleep late, which is almost every morning, but Cullen’s recruits knew better than to slack off at a time like this.  
Hearing a small moan from the bed inside, he jogs back around the corner. Eloren is moving slightly, her eyes squished up in pain, a distressed sigh escaping her lips as she rubs the sleep from her eyes. He watches her as she accesses her surroundings and looks around the room. Her hair is sticking straight up, and her underclothes are almost falling off her shoulders.  
She sits up on her elbow just slightly, and makes eye contact with him. She swallows, wincing at the effort it took her to do so. Cullen moves over to her, grabbing the small water basin Josephine brought up earlier that morning. He fills the cup on her nightstand, handing it to her. Her face is scarred over, the dried blood smeared around a bit. Her eyes are bright, and her collarbones are bruised, making everything from the neck down a nasty black color.  
“Thank you.” she whispers, her voice hoarse. She sips down the water, wincing again as she swallows.  
“Good morning.” Cullen says, sitting on the end of her bed. “How are you feeling?” She glares at him a little bit as she tries her best to stretch out her black limbs. At least she was okay enough to have an attitude, he thought. She sits up more, cringing, and leans her back on her mahogany headboard. The blanket falls from her chest and she looks down, realizing what she’s in, and grabs it back, covering up her underclothes. Her cheeks redden as she looks up at him in horror.  
“Surprised to wake up to the sight of you, I must say.” She glowers at him from under her lashes, her knuckles tight on the blanket around her mid-section.  
“I’m sorry,” Cullen holds up his hands, “I’ve been caring after you all evening. Cassandra undressed you, and Erin tended to your wounds. Dorian, Iron Bull, Cole, and Solas left late last night. We all haven’t stopped caring for you. I told everyone I’d stay up here just in case you woke up.” He feels shy, as she kept staring, unable to read her facial expression. “Um. If you’d like, I can go get Cassandra and Sister Erin, so they can get you undressed, and in clean clothes?” He rubs the back of his neck nervously. Eloren looks down, and makes a disgusted face. “I think that smell is me.” She admits. Cullen chuckles under his breath, and a small smile decorates her face. “I’ll go get them then.” He says as he gets up from the bed and heads towards the stairs.  
“Cullen?” She hesitates as he walks away. He looks up, their eyes locking onto one other. “Thank you, even if you are an ass.” She says, half sincerely. It leaves a smile on his face as he goes to get Cassandra.

“There.” Cassandra says shutting the washroom door. Her arms up to her shoulders are wet, and Sister Erin’s robe is covered in mud and dried blood smears.  
“She’s in the tub, finally.” Cassandra huffs. “Commander?” She asks. He looks up from his paperwork. “If you could please listen, if she may need anything, while I go get into some fresh clothes?” She looks over at Sister Erin, covered in dirt. He nodded to her as both left the room.  
Cullen couldn’t help but smile as he sat at Eloren’s desk, reading multiple reports from Leliana’s runners. Seems to him they’re on much better terms now, which took the guilt of how she left him away from the front of his mind. Hawke had been right about the movement of red lyrium in the Western Approach, and he feared he and Stroud were right about Corypheus’ demon army beginning there as well. With a sigh, he signed off on the report, and wrote another for Stroud and Hawke to scout ahead with a few of his recruits tomorrow morning. Tying it off with a ribbon, he stuck it in his breastplate to give to Leliana at the council meeting that evening.  
Standing up, he walks over to her bed and pulls back the thick quilt. Underneath the sheet was stained with dirt and dried blood. Stripping the bed, he walks down the stairs and piles them down by the door to be sure they are replaced with clean ones.  
On his way back up the stairs he hears splashing and grunting coming from the washroom. Hurrying over to the door he knocks, “Herald?” He spoke a little loudly, so she’d hear him over the thick door. “Are you alright?”  
“Uh.” She says, being sure not to speak too loudly and strain her ribcage. “Well, Commander, I can’t get my back clean. Is Cassandra still around?” Her voice is strained, and quieter now.  
“No, Inquisitor. She left with Sister Erin to get cleaned up. It’s just me.” He says, his ear to the door. It was quiet for a minute. “Inquisitor?” He asks again.  
“Um. Can you help me?” Her voice is almost so quiet he could barely hear her. Her question throws him off guard, his cheeks beginning to redden. He steps away from the door, rubbing his neck with nerves.  
“Inquisitor, I can gladly run downstairs and grab someone else to come help.” He stutters.  
“No, please.” She begs. “I don’t want to be a bother; everyone has exhausted too much time and effort on me already.” She squeaks. “Please, will you help me?”  
Cullen, approaching the door once more, creaks it open and peers inside. Stepping through the threshold, the room is warm and steamy from the hot water in the wash tub. The smell of lavender and embrium fills the room, and the steam wets his face. In the middle of the room sat the large wash basin, and inside, is a tiny Inquisitor, curled up in a ball, her green eyes piercing into his. “Hello, Commander.”


	7. Wandering Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor asks Cullen for a strange favor

Through the steam in the room I find Cullen’s golden eyes searing into mine.  
“Hello Inquisitor.” He whispers, breathy and rigid. I could see his rapid breathing even through his chest plate, his hands resting on the pommel of his sword slightly as he shifted his weight to his other foot. I don’t know how long I look at him looking at me, but it had to be long enough for him to bring his hand behind his neck and rub nervously.  
Finally, breaking eye contact with him, I look down at my bruised body, where underneath the ripples of the water my limbs morphed and moved ever slightly with my slow, steady breaths.  
“Um. I can’t reach my back.” I say quietly as I raise my sponge over the rim of the tub for him to see. Water falls to the floor, soaking the small rug lying there. He glances at the soapy sponge for an instant, and then looks back to my eager eyes, his expression unreadable.  
“Are you sure you want me to help, Inquisitor?” He stutters, looking away from me. “I’m happy to go get Cassandra.” He says, grabbing the door handle once more.  
“Please.” I whisper, my stomach falls a little. Walking over to me, with as much grace as he could muster, he gingerly grabs the sponge from my hand, and walks behind me. Pulling the stool that Sister Erin sat on while she dressed my wounds earlier, he settles in, directly out of my sight.  
Dipping the sponge in my warm water, he places it at the base of my neck and softly begins to make small circles over my skin. The feeling is heavenly, as the smell of lavender and embrium filled my nostrils once more. A soft moan escapes my lips as I rest my chin on my chest, and look down at my battle scars.  
“I’m not pushing too hard, am I, Inquisitor?” He says quietly. All I could do was shake my head in a silent no. The water around me began to gain a rust color as he began moving around my shoulders and middle back, the dried blood making an embarrassing appearance. I didn’t think it was that bad, and I’m all the sudden consumed with nerves.  
We sit in a comfortable silence for a little bit, as he dips the sponge back into my water and begins working on my right side.  
“Cullen, in here you don’t have to call me Inquisitor.” I say quietly. He huffs behind me. “What?” I giggle. “Honestly I hate being called Inquisitor anywhere.” I admit, rather sourly.  
“I guess I’m not used to not using pleasantries, especially with someone as important as you are.” He says, rinsing the sponge out again.  
I look at him from over my shoulder, “Here” Turning around to face him; I grab the sponge in his hands and look him square in his large eyes. “Say it with me,” I whisper, never breaking eye contact. “El….OR…Ren.” I say, trying to keep the smile from my face.  
The small scar across his lips curls as he tries, and fails, to keep from laughing. Looking down at our hands holding the sponge together, he looks back up at me, his crooked smile catching me off guard. I never noticed how pretty his teeth are.   
“Okay, Eloren.” He says, his voice soft as silk. It was oddly wonderful, hearing my name come from his lips for the first time. I watch his eyes flutter down towards my breasts as they float above the waterline, and quickly flicker back up to mine. Clearing his throat, he drops the sponge back in the tub and stands, rubbing his neck absently.  
“Well, Eloren,” He begins, his tongue fumbling over using my name instead of my title. “Your back is much cleaner now, is there anything else you need?” His voice wavered as he fumbles over his thoughts, his cheeks reddening.  
“I don’t think so, Cullen. But you don’t need to leave. I’m quite enjoying your company. I’ve been asleep for almost two whole days; I need some sort of interaction.” I giggle, bravely. He smiles as he stares down at me.  
“You didn’t seem to enjoy my company the last time we spoke.” He looks down at his hands.  
I’d forgotten about my hasty getaway before I left for The Fallow Mire, and I feel ashamed for it.  
“I’m sorry,” I stutter, “it was a lot of information, as I assume you read in my letter.” I say, playing with the soap swirling around me. “I’m a little embarrassed about the whole thing.” I admit.  
“I did receive your letter,” he says, pulling it out of his chest plate. It was tattered, dirty, and slightly bent where I see that he’s read it more than once. I open my eyes wide, I can’t believe he’s kept it on his person, and it makes my heart smile knowing he’s kept it close to him all these days.  
“I didn’t want to belittle you and be sour. I’m sorry you took it that way. I’ve felt this never-ending guilt since.” He taps his chest plate nervously with his fingers, sending a metal ringing sound throughout the small room. I felt warmth growing in my chest as he said this. “It’s really hard to explain,” he’s fumbling now, as he walks closer to the side of the tub. I smell the sweet forest musk that is Cullen filling my nostrils, and it’s quite lovely.   
Sitting down on the stool once more he continues, “If you wouldn’t have made it…” He begins.  
I reach out for him, my wet hands touching his armor over his thighs; they were chilly, even in the warm room. “Don’t.” I say sternly. “Just don’t think about those things. I’m here, I’m fine.” I watch as he blanches over my cranky retort. 

“Inquisitor.” I say quietly, testing it out for myself. Cullen raises his chin up to look at me from under his eyebrows, watching me carefully. “Doesn’t that sound odd to you?” I say, resting my elbow on the edge of the tub.  
“Not at all.” He says, a slight smile playing on his lips.  
“Is that the “official” response?” I chuckle. He laughs a little, making the room feel warmer. “I suppose it is,” he says “but the Inquisition needed a leader, and you’ve proven yourself to handle whatever it is we need you to.”  
I look down at my hands, intertwining my pruned fingers together. The scars on them showing all the years. Some white, some almost faded. Some bright pink, and others not even having a chance to fully scar over.   
“Thank you Cullen.” I pause and look up at him. Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on his knees, bringing his face significantly closer to mine. “I’m so glad that you.. or.. so many made it out of Haven.” He says, closing his eyes.  
“As am I.” I say quietly. We sit for a moment, fully engrossed in our own horrific memories of the event. “Eloren.” He coos. “You stayed behind when we were in Haven, and it scared me to death. That’s when I knew you were different. I knew that my feelings for you were something more than just watching you walk by and disappear into Haven’s gates, alone, and watching you train with Dorian and Solas until the sun went down.” He says, staring into my green eyes.  
This catches me by surprise, ‘feelings?’  
“Eloren,” he says alarmingly. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Maybe we should save this for another time.” His eyes were sincere. He stands quickly and heads for the door. Before I could get another word out he was gone, and I was left to prune.


	8. Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew arrive at Josephine’s Well thought out tribute to Haven.

The Ribbon cutting was beautiful. All the families of the ones The Inquisition had lost gathered around what was left of the front gates of Haven. Cullen was lucky to have had Josephine’s prepared speech, and she gladly cut the ribbon as well. He walked off the front steps and shook hands with as many people as he could.   
Walking through the crowd, he spots Eloren, speaking with a man and his son. She gives the boy a hug and shakes the father’s hand. Her bruising has made its way up her neck, and into her fingertips. Luckily with the snow on the ground she was forced to cover more of her body with her armor.   
Her staff graciously sat on her back, and her spell book hung over her thighs. He watches as she separates from the small family and makes her way over to Josephine, limping slightly and giving her a hug. Making his way over to them, Cullen hears Josie saying what a wonderful ceremony it was and how she will cherish it forever.  
“Cullen,” Leliana coos.. “Thank you for speaking today, I think it was essential for the family’s closure to hear from the Commander of the Inquisition.” She nods slightly at him.   
“Yes, Cullen, thank you for not changing the speech I made up for you.” Josephine quips, a small smile on her face. He nods at them both, as his eyes settle on Eloren.   
“We must head back soon,” He says. “Would you like me to prepare the mounts?” He motions over to the many horses, digging through the snow down to the grass roots.   
“We might as well. Have a few days journey ahead of us.” Eloren states, as she begins to walk toward her horse. Raising his hand and whistling through his teeth Cullen got the crowd’s attention quickly.   
“We must head out now, thank you everyone for attending, and we will meet again soon. Everyone is welcome in our gates of Skyhold, and anyone in our party, please saddle up. We leave momentarily.”   
Offering his hand to Eloren, he helps her up on her steed. “Thank you.” She says, adjusting herself and wincing slightly. Walking to his horse, he saddles, and guides his horse over to the middle of the group.  
Everyone slowly begins to mosey up the mountain pass; luckily the weather is being somewhat cooperative. Cullen overhears Iron Bull and Eloren’s conversation ahead of him.   
“Thank you for inviting me, Boss. I know I wasn’t really apart of the group when all this went down.” He says, adjusting his large body on his tiny horse. .   
“Always, Bull.” She speaks softly, the sadness of it all hitting her quietly. “You’ve always been apart of the group, and you’re every inch a part of my crew. Just because you hadn’t been here long doesn’t mean you weren’t detrimental to my escape, and our success.” Hearing her speak was like listening to a Master Bard in a warm tavern on a winter’s evening.   
“Thanks, Boss.” Bull whispers to her, and gives her a small smile. 

*****  
Despite the snow on the ground, the fire pit was staying well lit. Cullen pokes the fire aimlessly, playing with the coals beginning to form. Over his shoulder Josephine and Leliana were talking about their past. Something about losing their undergarments in a game of Wicked Grace many moons ago.   
Unfortunately, Cullen is only getting bits and pieces when Eloren’s voice pulls him from his eaves dropping.   
“Thank you for building the fire.” She says, putting her hands over the flames. The orange glow from the fire slightly hid the green hue of her palm, making her look a little less threatening.   
“You’re welcome.” He clears his throat, hoping she didn’t know he was listening to Josephine’s rant about losing her most treasured pink silk undergarments straight from Val Royeaux.   
“I’m so glad to have officially put this behind us. I can almost feel the healing beginning, and the fire growing within us to defeat Corypheus.” She exclaims, rubbing her palms together.   
“I know. I’m hoping that with this loss, gains new knowledge, and better placement for the next attack.” Cullen rubs his temples. He’s never been able to shake the feeling of guilt that shadows him about the incident in Haven. If he’d just been more prepared for an attack, maybe they wouldn’t have lost so many people.   
“It isn’t your fault.” He hears the smallest of voices behind him, one that could only belong to Cole.   
“You think it’s your fault?” Eloren chimes, her voice slightly alarmed.   
“I think that if I could have been more prepared, we might not have lost so many people.” Cullen rolls his eyes and glares at Cole, who fades back into the dark corners of the camp, retiring to his tent.  
“Cullen,” Eloren says, scooting closer to him on the log they were sitting on. “In no way is this your fault. We couldn’t have possibly been prepared for an attack of this magnitude. You’re telling me you could prepare for a demon magister and his fucked up Dragon?” Her voice was escalating, her eyes wide. The orange glow of the fire shone off her face, which was scrunched in just a way to make the wrinkle in-between her eyebrows much more defined.   
“No, I suppose not.” He huffs, meeting her gaze.  
“Please, Cullen. I hold guilt for lots of things, and some of which I can’t control. Please do not blame yourself for this asshole. That’s an order.” She says, standing up in front of him. He looks at her looking down on him, he felt he was being scolded like a child. He stands, face to face with her now, their bodies only inches apart.  
“Yes, Inquisitor.” He says so only she could hear him. Getting up on her tippy toes she leans into his ear and whispers, “El….OR….en.” He chuckles as she pulls away from him a bit. She reaches her arms around his neck, still standing on her tippy toes, and gives him an unexpected hug. Stepping back slightly in surprise, their bodies make contact, their armor clinking together.   
Finally realizing what was happening, he cautiously wraps his arms around her, being careful not to squeeze too hard and hurt her bruised ribs. She sighs in his arms and nuzzles her nose into his neck.   
Her hair smells like summer, and embrium.   
She took in a few breaths, warming his neck with each calm exhale. Through their armor he could feel a magnetic pull from within. Sighing contently, she lowers herself down from his chest and steps back, grabbing his shoulder plate.   
“Get some rest, Commander. We have a long day ahead.” She says, her hand leaving his shoulder as she walks away from him, letting it slide down his bicep and forearm. Her fingers graze his through his glove, and their fingertips catch before she finally looks away from his eager eyes and walks to her tent.  
He realized right then just how much he didn’t want to let her go.


	9. External vs. Internal War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly hacking away at the War Map, Eloren opens up a little bit more about her past... confronting demons both inside and out.

“You’re kidding me, your Inquisitorialness!” Varric almost shouts at me as he sits down at his table in front of the fireplace in the Main Hall. Dinner was coming to a close, and just a few people were still eating and talking about the latest return from Haven.   
“Nope!” I exclaim. “Cassandra is waiting for the next issue of ‘Swords and Shields.’”   
“I must have heard that wrong, I thought that you just said that Cassandra reads my books?” He runs his fingers through his flaming red hair.  
“You heard me!” I laugh, pulling up a chair.   
“Are we talking about the same Cassandra?” His eyes were screaming confusion. “Tall, grumpy Seeker? Likes stabbing things?”  
“Same Cassandra.”  
“Wait, ‘Swords and Shields’? The Romance serial? Well..” He pauses while he takes his last bite of druffalo from his plate and plumps it in his mouth. “She’ll be waiting for awhile. I haven’t finished it and wasn’t planning to.” He states, showing me his food as he talked. “That book is easily the worst book I’ve ever written. It did so poorly it hardly sold enough to cover the ink.” He pushes his plate to the edge of he table, leaning back in his chair, revealing his gut.  
“Well, Cassandra seems to like them.” I say, grabbing a spare crumb off his plate and popping it in my mouth.   
“And I honestly thought a hole in the sky was the weirdest thing that could ever happen.” He huffs, shaking his head back and forth. “So you want me to finish writing the last issue of my worst serial…for Cassandra?”   
We stand and I walk in front of him as he stretches, popping his back a few times.  
“Oh that’s such a terrible idea, I have to do it. On one condition: that I have to be there when you give her the book.”   
“You have a deal.” I say, shaking his hand.  
“I’ll get it done then. You know, the fact that the book was just so terrible just makes this whole thing worth while, somehow.” He chuckles as he shakes my hand.  
“Let me know when it’s finished, we will pay her a much needed visit.” I smile as I head towards the war room for my evening meeting.

***   
Walking into the War Room tonight and the air was incredibly thick.   
“Anything yet?” Cullen asks Leliana as I open the door. All three of them were leaning over the map, their pieces scattered everywhere. I make eye contact with the Commander for a split second before turning my attention to Leliana. His eyes study me, and a small smile plays on his lips. I can still smell his scent from our trip back to Haven, and how calm it made me feel. The serenity of our hug was intoxicating, and it put me in a safe place for the first time in a very long time. I hadn’t stopped thinking about it since.   
“It’s difficult to know if the lyrium in Redcliffe came from Kirkwall, that’s only what the Inquisitor saw in the future.” I sigh, knowing that re-hashing the incident with Alexius again was only going to irritate me. It seemed like decades ago that I was violently thrown into a red filled future with Dorian where I saw too many of my allies covered in Red Lyrium. Alexius was still being held in Redcliffe, until we could get a judgment on what Ferelden wanted to do with him.   
“How do we figure out where it all came from? We can’t ask Alexius, because he hasn’t gotten that far ahead, has he?” Josephine asks.   
“We wait.” I hiss. “He will be here, and he will pay for his crimes. Until then, we wait for him to get here. We will interrogate him then.” I lay my hands on the map, moving a few pieces around with what I had accomplished as of late.   
“What’s our status on our reputation throughout Orlais? Have we gotten an invite to Palace?” I ask, rubbing my temples.   
“Not yet,” Josephine says, looking through her notes. “We’re so close, but there’s a few more things I think we should accomplish before we ask about it.”  
“Let me know where I’m going, and when. I’m ready.” I say, heading for the door. I need some air. Walking from the War Room I enter our peaceful garden. Sisters were carefully tending to our herbs, and many of them were gathered around the fountain, chatting. They nod at me as I walk by, which still makes me slightly uncomfortable. I spot an empty space near a cluster of Crystal Grace where I sit down and listen to the small commotion around me.  
Laying my head on my knees, I breathe in the flower scents around me, trying to calm my nerves. The slight breeze made the leaves around me rustle, taking me back to the Dales with Na.   
I vaguely remember lying in bed, when I returned from the Fallow Mire and Leliana asking me what she could do to ease my pain. I had told her everything about my past, like she didn’t already know anyway, and I’d asked her to send a scout out, looking for the only person that ever meant anything to me. I must remember to check back with her. NaVala is a strong fighter; I just hope she made it out of The Dales with the clan after this whole shithole thing started up.   
I’m brought back to the worst day of my life, running face first into Na in the arms of a Templar.   
“You let her go.” I hissed, the warmth of my inner fire beginning to pool in my hands.   
“I don’t think I want to do that. But what I do want to do, is come check out this clan of yours, make sure everything is in tip top shape, shall we?” He cooed back at me, adjusting his hold on Na. “If you think I’m going to lead you there, you’re wrong. What’s your cause? Where are your orders?” I gripped my staff tighter, waiting for him to weaken just slightly.   
“Young lady, I don’t think you’re big enough to ask about our orders, or demand to see them, now are you?” One of the men behind the one holding Na purred.   
“So how about, you lead us there, we check it out, do what our orders you’re not entitled enough to see, tell us, and then leave… hmm?”   
“Na, now!” I screamed, as I flung my staff forward, shooting balls of fire as big as watermelons at their heads. NaVala bit down on his hand, making him scream as he let her loose, and she runs into the woods to safety.   
Two of the men were completely succumbed in flames, while the other three lunge at me, swords out and sharp. Dodging one, I ended up taking a large swipe to the thigh by another, and I yelped in pain. Falling to the ground, I summoned a weak firestorm, something I hadn’t quite gotten the handle on yet, even now as Inquisitor, I haven’t learned the whole thing. Two large rocks came crashing down around us, pinning one of them to the ground next to his fellow soldiers, only piles of ash. The big man was the only one left, and he was upon me.   
“Inquisitor?” I hear Cullen’s sweet voice behind me, pulling me from my thoughts. I look up and see Cullen standing in front of me, his hands folded in front of him. Kind of like a small boy waiting to ask permission to do something.   
“Yes, Commander, is everything alright?” I ask, standing up and wiping my pants off.   
“I didn’t mean to disturb you, Inquisitor.” He stutters. “But I was wondering if you might want to share a glass of wine with me?”


	10. Secrets & Promises

“Are Templars also expected to give up… physical… temptations?” Eloren asks Cullen, sipping her wine. Cullen pokes at the fire, readjusting the logs, and looks over his shoulder at her.  
“Why… why would you ask that? I mean, that’s not expected, Templars can marry, although there are rules and they must go through the Order. Some may choose to give up… more… if they’d like. But it’s not required.” He spits out, sitting back down next to her on the couch in her quarters.  
“Have you?” She asks, raising her mischievous eyebrow. She licked her lips before she took another sip of her wine. Oh, how he’d like to bite that bottom lip.  
“Me?? Uh. No.. No. I have taken no such vows.” He says, blushing. She sips more of her wine, and looks into the fire in thought. “Did you leave anyone behind in Kirkwall?” She whispers, not looking his direction.  
“No, I’m afraid I didn’t make many friends there, and my family is in Ferelden. My duty was to the Order, nothing more.” He eyes her skeptically, wondering where she was going next.  
“Nobody.. Special caught your interest?” She adjusts the way she is sitting, wincing in the process.   
“No, not in Kirkwall.” He whispers. “What about you?”   
“Me? No. It was just my Clan and I before the explosion. I left my sister Na behind when I left for the Chantry. I was sent to listen in on any treaties being made between the mages and Templars. I needed to figure out where I’d go next.” She speaks softly, finishing off her second glass of wine easily. “I haven’t really felt much in terms of love, actually.” Leaning forward she sets her glass down on the table, running her forearm against Cullen’s fingertips. 

Goosebumps run up her skin, and she looks over at him in shock. He couldn’t resist any longer, he opens his arms, as he casually lays back on the couch. She guards him for a second. He is looking for her answer in her eyes until she finally finds her resolve. Crawling into his lap, she lays her head on his shoulder, looking up into his eyes. He rubbed the back of her arm with his fingertips, cherishing how velvety soft her skin felt against his. The smell of Crystal Grace and summer time came off her skin like a candle, and her warmth reached to his very bones.   
A childlike giggle rose from her throat.  
“Is there something you wished to discuss, Eloren?” He asks, trying to keep the nervous shaking from his voice.  
“Well, Commander,” she giggles, “I think we need to talk about our current situation.” She raises her hand and motioned to their bodies entwined with one other, wine cups empty, and the lingering tension in the air.  
“I can’t say I haven’t wondered what I would say to you in this kind of situation.” He sighs, a small smile on his lips.  
“What’s stopping you?” She says, adjusting onto her elbow to look him in the face.  
“You’re the Inquisitor, we’re in the middle of the war, and I didn’t think it was possible.” He whispers, running his hand through his golden hair.   
“And yet I’m still here.” She sighs against his neck.  
“So you are. It seems too much to ask, but I want to.” He states.  
Below, the door to Eloren’s quarters swings open, and up storms Cassandra, Sister Erin on her heels. Re-adjusting themselves as fast as possible, Eloren sits up; Cullen gets up rapidly and moves over to the fire, to stick it some more with his magical poker.  
“Oh! Commander, I didn’t expect you to still be here.” Cassandra huffs, assessing the situation. Eloren looks over at him, his crooked grin easing onto his face, and his infamous neck rubbing ensues. Eloren looks over at Cassandra, whose face was a little white, and confused. “We figured we’d come up before we retired to our quarters and change your bandages again and reapply ointment. We borrowed some more healing potions from Leliana, she and Josephine had them sent from Val Royeaux, they’re a little stronger than what Sera and Sister Erin can make up.” She begins, trying to get all of it out in one breath.  
“Sure.” Eloren says, standing up rather wobbly. She makes her way over to them, where they sit her on her bed, dressing and undressing her wounds, adding ointment, and handing her over the special elfroot potions. Luckily her mobility has gotten better, her ribs beginning to ache less. Unfortunately, her bruising got darker by the hour, and it made her feel terribly unattractive. Though most of her open wounds had completely healed up, just a few scabs here and there that needed tending to.  
Cullen watches from the armchair near the fire, not able to keep his eyes off her. What was this? Was this the right time? All these questions assault his mind, as he watches her being taken care of by someone else. It maddened him. He should be the one taking care of her, not Cassandra. Anger surges through him, his fists clenching the sides of the chair, and he looks at her once more before walking onto the balcony for air. She meets his gaze with her calming green eyes as he stands out in the chilly summer air. A small smile stretches across her face, and it was like the fire within him was doused with the coldest of waters. Everything in him calmed, and he became stable. The headache he began to get from his lyrium depravity lessoned, and he felt ease coming over him. He knew right then what this was.  
When Cassandra and Sister Erin left, Eloren stood and made her way to where Cullen was standing on the balcony. The stars were out, the little snow there was left on the mountain tops glistened under the moonlight.  
“Cullen if—” she begins, but before she could finish, his mouth was on hers, his hands on the small of her back, bringing her to him with needy force. His tongue, playing with hers, and her hands tangled in his hair. He pulls away from her then, not wanting to hurt her.  
“I’m sorry,” he stutters, “I just…”  
“I believe that was a very heated kiss,” she giggles, “Don’t be sorry, Cullen.” She whispers, rubbing his cheeks with her fingers. Reaching behind his neck once more, she pulls him to her, to finish the kiss she wasn’t expecting in the first place. This one was softer, his lips parting slightly, so she could taste his sweet breath on her tongue. “What is it you wanted to ask?” She says against his lips, her fingers playing with the small hairs on the back of his neck.  
“Please.” He spoke softly. “I don’t ever want to let you go.”  
“Then don’t.” She spoke with certainty. The kind of tone that shook you to your core, the orders laced in her voice were sharp and clear. He knew then what he had to do, and it was never letting this woman go, no matter how hard they fought, how hurt they got, where this journey would take them, or how long they’d be apart. Everything in the world made sense, even though it was all messed up. There was a giant asshole threatening to tear their world apart; but Cullen knew that no matter what life threw at them, she was his, and he was hers, for the rest of eternity.  
She looks at him and smiles, a smile that could melt the strongest of hearts.  
“I won’t.” He confirms, as he brings her face to his once more, and kisses her passionately underneath the starry night..


	11. Secret’s Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloren works on honing in on her Rift Mage Specialization with the unwanted help from Dorian.

“Again!” Solas snaps, readjusting the rocks on top of one other. I sigh; we’ve been at this all day. I brush the hair out of my eyes and take stance once more. “To become a Rift Mage, you must embrace the power the rifts give you, and bring them forward. Use them to create what you need them to be from the fade. Focus, Eloren.” He steps back once more, leaning his back against a small tree. Who knew he could be so bossy?  
Raising my hand in front of me, I position my mark towards the rocks once more. My mind has been in shambles all day. It’s been days since Cullen and I’s kiss on my balcony. Other than a few meetings in the war room, and glances from across the Main Hall at meal times, we’ve been too busy to connect. My body was finally beginning to heal, the bruises coming to a sickly green color instead of Druffalo black. My ribs were beginning to heel up, thanks to Josephine’s connections in Val Royeaux. I craved his touch, and it was terribly distracting.  
Solas was one hell of a teacher; I had to get my specialization down, and quickly. After the Fallow Mire incident, everyone has been on me about honing in my skills to prevent another accident. Facing the rocks, I shoot a small green streak from my hand at the rock, barely moving it, and definitely not knocking it over. I sigh as I slam my fists together in anger. Solas walks over to me, placing his large hand on my shoulder. “Friend,” his words were soft, and sincere, “We’ll pick this up again tomorrow. You leave in a week to figure out what’s going on in The Western Approach. With the idea of a demon army being spawned there, you have to have this down.” He begins to walk away from me when Dorian walks out of the shadows.  
“Herald!” He speaks loudly; a few people look over at us. Leave it to him to acquire an audience. “Why, what’s wrong?” I look at him skeptically as he walks slow circles around me. “Having a little trouble smashing things with Fade friends?” He says, twirling his mustache with his thumb and first finger.  
“What’s this about, Dorian?” I ask.  
“Oh, nothing. Just something I find rather adorable about you.” He whispers. “It seems to me someone has a thing for strapping young Templars.” He smiles, happy about his findings. A smirk comes across my face as I look from him to Solas, whose eyes are as big as the sun. “How would you feel if, maybe by chance, a rather handsome, but totally terrifying bandit had your precious Cullen in his hands? Hmm?” Dorian spews with determination, painting this terrible picture in my head. I watch him as he continues to circle.  
“No?” He coos. “Okay, lets try this.” He steps in front of me, his white robe blowing slightly in the wind. He looks straight in my eyes, a mischievous look on his face. Grabbing a soldier who was gawking at the scene he’s created, he places him directly in front of him. “How about a little, too drunk, to-pretty-for-her-own-good bard, who’s had an excellent view of your Commander all evening?” The soldier’s eyes get big as Dorian wraps his arms around his waist, playing with his belt buckle.  
“Oh,” I hear a deep purr coming from Bull’s throat, who had recently joined the crowd. “Dragon’s breath, would I like me some of that.” He whispers behind me, I hear him smack his lips as he watches on.  
Watching Dorian play out this scene brought a fire to my stomach, my left hand beginning to get a pulse, the green glow intensifies, shining off the grass underneath me.  
“She’s clearly, all over your precious Commander,” he whispers, his grey eyes locked into mine. Glaring at Dorian, the air around me began to ripple and bend with my angry thoughts.  
Undoing the soldier’s belt, he slips his hand in his waistband, toiling with his lower stomach hair. A crowd of people has formed now, Blackwall was leaning against the stables, and a smiling Sera, who’s oh so happily rolling her eyes at the whole scene. The whole picture was appalling; especially in public, but everyone knew that Dorian wouldn’t do it any other way. The air around me begins to crackle, and twist.  
“It would be terrible if maybe she crossed too many lines..” He says, kissing the soldier’s neck over and over, biting at his earlobe. I start to see shapes forming in my head, the Fade giving me plenty of weapon options to smash into the girl Dorian has painted, touching my Commander.  
“Maybe we should take this to my quarters, hmm?” Dorian asks the soldier who’s become putty in his hands; he’s almost drooling all over his breastplate.  
Finally, with the power of a charging Wyvern, I pick my weapon and launch it at them. A fist sheathed in green fire and electric shock goes barreling towards the two lovebirds, crackling and hissing as it left my palm. Dorian grabs the soldier by the waist and calmly steps them out of harms way as it flies past them and into the pile of rocks I’d come to hate all day long.  
The pile splinters into a million pieces as my Fade Fist crashes into them, some of them crumbling to ash. My body is shined with sweat, my pulse in my eardrums, my brow creased, the look of anger stretching across my face. I watch, as the rocks become nothing, and the crowd around me “oohh and awwws” my performance. Many other mages began to applaud. Dorian releases the soldier, against his wishes it would seem, and bows for the crowd, walking over to me calmly. Grabbing my outstretched arm, he guides it back down to my side and whispers in my ear.  
“Well done, friend. I’m so very proud of you. Welcome to being a Rift Mage.” And with that, all my anger was gone. I look around me, people staring at what I’d done.  
“Well, slap a nug’s ass and call me Cassandra!” Sera says, clapping vigorously. Solas looks at me, gives me a tight smile and a nod before walking away.  
A small movement on the battlements catches my eye, and I look up, seeing my Commander, a smile on his face, clapping quietly before winking at me and heading back into his tower.  
I’d successfully become a Rift Mage, and completely embarrassed myself in front of half of my Inquisition. If everyone didn’t know about our relationship before, they definitely knew now. I look around for Dorian, to thank him, and punch him in the shoulder; when I couldn’t find him, or his little friend anywhere nearby.  
Rolling my eyes, I walk over to my trainer and shake her hand. “Thank you.” I say. “Oh, Inquisitor, thank you. You’re one of my better students, and I wish you the best in this new life choice.” She says before meeting with the other two trainers and walking out the front gates.  
I put my hand to my forehead and sigh. I decide to walk through the starring crowd, shamelessly, and head to the tavern to get something to drink, because Andraste knows I need one.


	12. Drunken Mischief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the spectacular show in the Courtyard, Eloren decides to keep the show going.

“Boss!” Iron Bull’s voice booms across the room as Eloren opened the tavern door, her face flushes slightly. She walks over to where Iron Bull and his chargers are sitting, half of them completely wasted. “Come! Sit!” He motions over to an empty seat, and Eloren gratefully sits down. “This is Coconut Krem Pie. Or Kremisus, if you’re gonna be a right ass about it.” He says, motioning over to a young lad on his left.   
“Your Worship,” He nods to Eloren as she sits. “I’m so glad he has someone new to hit with that poor joke.” He huffs as he takes a sip of his ale.   
“Honestly,” She giggles, “I could think of worse places to go with the name “Kremisus.””   
“So can the chief, believe me.” He looks at Bull before knocking him in the shoulder with a beastly right hook.   
“Hey! When I was growing up, my name was a series of numbers. We all give each other nicknames under the Qun.” He combats. .   
“Do they ever wear shirts under the Qun, Chief? Or do they just run around binding their breasts like that?”   
“It’s a harness, Krem.”   
“Yes, for your billowing man boosums!” He laughs at his own joke. Eloren was watching them both like it was some sort of skit. “Let me know if you need any help binding. Could really chisel something out of that overstuffed look you have going on there, Chief.”  
Eloren’s eyes opened in shock. Was Krem referring to himself? Binding, as in…? “Oh, you didn’t realize, I presume?” Krem coos.   
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, “No, I didn’t.”   
“Great! Now we can all talk about it.” Krem says sourly.   
“I hope I didn’t offend you with my reaction,” Eloren backpedals. “I honestly don’t think it much matters. You are who you are.” She takes a sip of ale. Krem sat back in his chair for a moment, a small smile coming across his face as he nodded at her. Surprised by Eloren’s thoughts.   
“In Qunandar, Krem would be an Aqun-Athlok. That’s what we call someone born one gender but identifying with another.” He looks at Krem in admiration.   
“And those Qunari people don’t treat us “Aqun” people differently than any other man?” Krem asks skeptically.  
“They are real men. Just like you are.” Bull says, smiling and taking another sip of ale. Eloren sits back in her chair; absolutely amazed at the trust and love they share as comrades.  
“Anyway, this is what’s left of the Chargers, some of them disappeared to find more drinks!” Bull hollers, motioning over to his men. “We got Rocky and Skinner, and over there we got Stitches, Dalish, and Grim.” He chuckles. “Crazy bunch of assholes, but they’re mine.”   
“It’s all really nice to meet you.” Eloren chimes. “It’s a pleasure to work with you, and you all bring a lot to the Inquisition.” All of them nod in thanks before Eloren stands.   
“Boss! You headed out so soon? Have a drink or two!” Bull says, handing Eloren a tankard. “Oh come on. After that little show in the courtyard you’re going to turn down a drink from good old Bull?” He mocks her, a smile playing on his scarred face. She eyes it skeptically before grabbing it in her hands and sitting back down. 

 

****  
“AND THAT’S HOW I MANAGED TO ESCAPE IMPRISONMENT IN JUST MY BOOTS!” Eloren booms, ale swishing out of her tankard and onto the floor. The whole tavern was in tears; even Sara had joined in on the fun.   
“That’s FANTASTIC!” Bull screams back. “Three hoots for the Herald!” He hollers, picking Eloren up and throwing her in the air.   
“HIP HIP! HOORAY!” The whole tavern joined in, the noise echoing off the stone walls.   
When she was finally put down, Eloren’s world was spinning. The tavern was loud with cheers and laughter, the previous embarrassment completely forgotten.   
“Buull !” She slurs. “Bull! T’was goodin’ time!” She high fives his chest, almost losing her balance. “I’ve gotta judge shit’s people tomorrow and do stuff and some!” She says, heading for the door. “Good night, Institution!” She yells, before slamming the door behind her.  
“Did she mean, Inquisition?” Sera asks Krem, who was drooling down the support beam next to him.

Eloren stands outside, taking in the night air. She looks up, in her drunken stupor, and notices Cullen’s light on in his tower. A smile smearing its way onto her face, she trips up the multiple stone staircases up to him. Stumbling her way to the door, she bangs her head on it putting her ear to the door. Not hearing anything she stumbles inside. Cullen was sitting at his desk, in his evening wear: A tight fit, cream-colored shirt, and green slacks.   
Looking up from his paperwork, he sees Eloren, her shirt coming off her shoulder, and missing a shoe.   
“By the love of Andraste, Eloren. Are you okay?” He says, standing up.   
“I am now! Especially because you said Eloren!” She spits as she tumbles into his arms, giving him an awkward hug.   
“You smell nice.” She whispers, drooling a little bit onto his shirt.   
“Inquisitor,” Cullen begins, smelling the alcohol on her breath. “Here, have some tea.” He hands her what’s left of his on his desk and sits her down in his chair. Grabbing the cup with both hands she sips the rest of it down, slamming the cup down and licking her lips.   
“TEA IS SO GROSS.” She spews, squishing her face up in disgust. Cullen is completely taken back by her intoxicated state. He’s seen soldiers get wasted, but definitely not to this magnitude. He watches as her head falls from her hands twice, almost hitting the desk.   
“Herald, have you drank like this before?”  
“Drink?” she asks, her eyes droopy. “No! I…. never.. did drank.” She points her finger straight in the air, trying to sound matter of fact. “First time for everything!” She giggles, a burp escaping her lips.  
“Okay, Inquisitor. How about we get you to bed?” He says, reaching for her arm.   
“BED?” She yells. “Bed with you?!” Her green eyes widen with mischief. “Oh, Commander. Are you as serious in bed as you are in battle?” She pulls at her bottom lip with her teeth. Cullen’s eyes widen in shock, as he coughs down his nerves. “I---“ he begins.   
“I’d love to see that armor come off you more often.” She whispers, tugging at her shirt. Walking towards his ladder, she leaves him awestruck. She gets to the first rung, and stops, looking at him with a wide grin. Grabbing the ends of her shirt she pulls it over her head, exposing her free breasts, and leaving her hair in knots. Cullen couldn’t help but look at her, in her glory, so brave and happy.   
Next she tucks her thumbs in the waistband of her pants, and pulls them down over her rear, exposing her red silk panties, stitched with the famous VR on the hip. Stepping out of her pants, she begins to climb the ladder, with amazing grace despite her current state.   
“I’ll be waiting for you, Commander.” She hums down at him, before he hears his bed squeak from her weight crashing down on it.   
Putting his hands on his desk, he breathes out his mouth to stay calm. He has the woman of his dreams in his bed right now, wanting him. His erection was hitting the side of the desk, letting him know that this was what he wanted.   
He sits down at his desks for a few minutes, trying to organize his papers into a less disgruntled pile before he decides working and letting her sleep was completely out of the question.   
With a discontented sigh, Cullen pulls some more teabags, elfroot, and a wet rag and heads up the ladder.   
“It’s going to be a long night.” He whispers.


	13. Whoops!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hungover Eloren learns a few things about her Commander, and surprises Cassandra with a gift.

Ringing. Everything is ringing. The warm sun is hitting only the right side of my face, and I’m trying to pretend none of this is happening. I don’t hear any of the morning songs from the birds I usually hear on my balcony. That must mean today is already half over. Lifting my head, I realize I’m completely taking up my whole bed, sprawled out on my stomach like the bear skinned rug in the dining hall. The covers are completely kicked off me, and I’m half naked.  
Rolling over, I rub my eyes and sit up, steadying myself on what was left of the satin sheets.   
Satin sheets.  
I don’t have satin sheets.   
I open my eyes in shock, confused as to where I am. Across from me, in a small red armchair, is the Commander, eyeing me carefully. One leg was crossed over the other. His elbow resting on his reclined knee. His hand playing with his morning stubble, and small grin playing on his lips. His eyes are glistening in a way I’d never seen them; mischievous.   
“Oh, shit!” I spit, my words ringing in my head, sending pain through my temples like a lightning bolt. Cullen quickly stands, handing me the sheet that was on the floor to wrap up in, and a cup of something minty.   
I hastily grab the sheet, wrapping it around my mid-section. Did I just wake up, in the Commander’s bed, nipples exposed, and wearing my sexiest pair of underwear?   
“How do you feel?” His voice was velvety soft, as he sat back down in his chair.   
“Horrible, embarrassed, naked.” I say, sipping down the tea. Ah, yes. Green tea and Elfroot. The best cure for a hangover, I’ve heard. He chuckles as I say this. A low chuckle. It made my stomach tie in knots..   
“You did come in very intoxicated last night.” He says, matter of fact, rubbing his hand back over his stubbly chin.  
“Do I even want to know what happened?” I wince. Wiping the sleep from my eyes.   
“Nothing between you and I, unfortunately.” He states, his voice calm and collected. “I went down stairs and grabbed your discarded clothing and put them on the end of the bed, whenever you’re ready. There’s also juice and toast downstairs on my desk. I suggest you put something in that stomach of yours.” His voice was assertive, and sexy.   
“Cullen, I’m so sorry.” I say, ashamed. “I didn’t mean to keep you up all night, and I especially didn’t mean to get naked and sleep in your bed.” I wrap the blanket tighter around me as he gets up and walks over to me.   
“Don’t be sorry. Just know, I have seen the most beautiful woman, naked, and taunting me with her body, fall asleep in my bed, without me.” He whispers in my ear, giving me goose bumps. “I sat and watched you moan my name all night long, and I wasn’t able to touch you, kiss you, or make you scream my name instead.” His lips graze my neck, as he speaks. “I’ve never wanted a woman as much as I want you Eloren, and after last night, there’s nothing more I want than to be inside of you, and hear my name come from your mouth while you’re fully aware of what’s going on.” He kisses me softly on the neck, making me turn to goo. “You wanted to know if I am just assertive in bed as I am on the battlefield. Am I living up to your expectations?” And then he was gone, down the ladder, and out the door for his afternoon training session with the new recruits.   
***  
“Eloren?” Varric’s raspy voice comes to me over the breakfast table.  
“Yes, sorry Varric, is everything alright?” I ask, rubbing my eyes to keep the Commander from my head for ten minutes, and keep from eating any more than I already have.  
“I’ve finished the next part of my serial for Cassandra. Do you have time to pay her a visit?” He flashes the cover of the next chapter of “Swords and Shields” in front of me. A raunchy outfitted woman on the cover.   
“Absolutely!” I smile; I have been waiting for this far too long. 

 

Approaching Cassandra she begins eying us skeptically.   
“What have you done now?” She asks, her tone guarded.   
“I get it, Seeker. You’re still sore after our little spat.” Varric says, holding up his hands.  
“I am not a child, Varric. Do not suggest I am without reason!” Her brows furrow in frustration.   
“A peace offering: The next chapter of ‘Swords and Shields.’ I hear you’re a fan.” Eyeing the book, she looks from me, to Varric, to the cover.   
“This is your doing!” She looks back over at me, accusingly.   
“You’re damn right it is! You think I’d miss this?” I laugh.  
“Well…” Varric begins. “If you’re not interested, you’re not interested. It still needs editing, anyhow.”  
“WAIT!” She screams.  
“HA! You’re probably wondering what happens to the Knight Captain after the last chapter.”  
“Nothing should happen to her! SHE WAS WRONGLY ACCUSED!” Cassandra screams, I’d never seen so much animation in her before.   
“Well, it turns out, the Guardsman..” Varric teases  
“Don’t tell me!” She interrupts, grabbing the book from his hands.  
“This is the part where you thank me, Inquisitor, I don’t often do sneak peaks after all.”  
“I…thank you.” Cassandra says sincerely, looking from Varric to me.  
“This was everything I’d hoped for!” I screech, clapping my hands together with pure happiness like a child.  
“I wonder if I have time to read the first part?”  
“Yes, Cassandra. Take the rest of the evening off, for the love of Andraste. We don’t head out to anywhere for a few days.” I laugh.   
“Me too.” Varric chuckles. “Don’t forget to tell all your friends.” Shaking his head, he heads back up to the main tower, a little more energy in his step.   
Cassandra smiles at me slightly before heading into the armory to read her treasure. 

Heading back the tower I feel something small hit my shoulder. Turning around I see Sera perched up on top of the tavern roof, giggling slightly.   
“How you feeling, Lady Herald?” She laughs, clearly mocking my shenanigans from the previous evening.   
“Perfect, thanks.” I smirk at her, I almost stick out my tongue.   
“I bet the Commander got lucky.” She said, raising an eyebrow. Shocked, I put my hands on my hips and glare at her.   
“And if he didn’t?” I spit.   
“OH! So, you passed out on him before he could get it up, huh?” She shouts, causing a couple of people to turn their heads.   
Grabbing the rock off the ground I huck it at her, bouncing it off her shoulder.   
“Ohhhh. Don’t push your Lady Herald. She may have a staff, but she’s killer with a rock!” She laughs, walking back inside.  
Shaking my head with a smile, I keep walking, trying to avoid looking up at the Battlements at Cullen watching over his troops, or worse, watching me.


	14. Difficult Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloren drops a bomb on Alexius, and goes on her first get-a-way with the Commander.

“Gereon Alexius.” Josephine begins, her tone sharp and unwavering. “Ferelden was kind enough to hand him over to us in return for your aid.” She paces back and forth in front of Eloren, writing furiously with her quill. Cullen sits in the front corner of the room, watching intently. “The former charges are apostasy, enslavement and attempted assassination, on your own life, no less,” she continues. Cullen notices Eloren raise her mischievous eyebrow at Alexius as he is brought to the front, his chains clashing together. “Tevinter has stripped him from his title, and given him to us for judgment, you may judge him however you see fit, Inquisitor.”  
Cullen watches as Eloren sits forward, putting her elbows on her knees, and resting her fingers on her full lips. She never blinks, never breaking eye contact with him. The green glow of her hand made her eyes look vivid, sharper, and full of hatred.  
“Ah, yes. How could I forget you, Alexius?” She begins; her tone is silky, and filled with poison. “It’s about time someone judged you for what you’ve done. Tell me, Josephine, what is the precedent for almost ripping time apart, and making me witness some of my greatest allies, my friends, fall under the red lyrium filled future this man would have made a reality?” She cocks her head. Cullen hadn’t seen her this heated, she kept her tone quiet, laced with painful words that stung like barbs in the skin. A smirk comes across her face as she taps her fingers on her plump lips.  
“I’ve thought long and hard about your fate, Alexius.” She looks around the room at her advisors, and then at Cullen, her eyes soften slightly. Looking back at Alexius she continues, “You will be made tranquil.” Her voice was flat when she said this. The whole room gasped. “I am a mage; I know what this means. You’ve misused your magic in a way that cannot be repaired. I cannot trust you to keep it, you’ve been an invaluable aid for a magister that could be bringing us to another blight.” She stands then, walking up to him, looking him square in the face, their noses almost touching.  
“You will be locked in our cells, under constant guard. You will give us any, and all, information you come across in your studies that you will be doing for my Inquisition. You will be my valuable asset now, right next to being my biggest bitch.” She glared into him, his face falling with his fate.  
“You’ll learn really quick not to cross me, or my friends, Alexius. If you do your job the way you should, without any other bullshit, I might let you step outside my walls instead of burying your weak body six feet under.” She snaps, as she turns away from him, signing the paper order and storming into her quarters, slamming the door behind her.  
The whole room is silent, as the door slam echoed off the walls. Cullen looks at Solas, who was shaking his head in disbelief before retiring to his office, closing the door softly behind him..  
“Good, arse biscuit.” Sera huffs, as she continued sharpening her arrows. Iron Bull sighS and finishes off his ale before heading back down to the courtyard. Cassandra clears her throat, “Get him out of here. Now.” She orders. The guards grab Alexius and escort him out of the Main Hall. Dorian gets up from his seat, wipes his pants, and follows Alexius out. Cullen knew it would be hard for him, Eloren had told him of their past, knowing they were once close.  
Cullen rises from his seat and walks over to Cassandra and Leliana, who were whispering quietly in the corner. “I’ve got word from Hawke from the Western Approach,” Leliana whispers as she walks toward the War Room.  
“What have you heard?” Cullen asks, staring at Eloren’s door one last time before leaving the Main Hall.  
“Hawke needs us to dispatch the Inquisitor and her team in two days.” Leliana says, putting her hands on the wooden table. She moved a couple of pawns on the map over to where Hawke was stationed on the outskirts of The Western Approach. She taps her fingers on the table. “He confirmed the construction of the Demon Army.” She sighs,, standing up and pacing around the end of the table.  
“And let me guess, Wardens are involved?” Cullen says, running his hands through his hair in frustration.  
“Hawke states they’re using blood magic, and using Warden’s as their vessels.” She glares, Cullen didn’t know if it was at anyone in particular, or just the face she’d chosen to wear that day.  
“I’ll start writing up a report to the Arl in Orlais, maybe he can dispatch some more troops to protect the ancient ruins in that area. We don’t need them to be the base for such army.” Josephine huffs. “He also may have more information on the whereabouts of where we can set up camps of our own.”  
“Good. I’ll prepare my men for dispatch and educate them on the current issues.” Cullen says, writing up a report of his own. “This ought to be a shitfest.”  
*****   
After the meeting in the War Room, Cullen is groggy, his armor seeming twice as heavy as it usually is. He opens the Main Hall door where food was now being served. Iron Bull and Varric are talking about their shenanigans with Dwarf women, Dorian is trying hard not to charm the kitchen staff out of their underclothes, and Sera, drinking a large cup of ale, her plate already picked clean; mustard stained all down her shirt. Weather that was previously there or not, Cullen didn’t know. He walks over to his seat, where there was a large plate of ram meat, garden potatoes, and fresh baked bread. He grabs his plate, and Eloren’s, knowing all too well she was still sulking in her quarters, and heads up.

When he opens the door, and climbs the stairs, there wasn’t any noise coming from inside. He reaches the top of the stairs to find Eloren, her head in her hands, and a small Crystal Grace plant in front of her. She is holding her hand above it, torching the ends of the flowers black, before preforming a healing spell to return them to their beautiful sky blue color. She looks up from her experiment at Cullen and smiles an exhausted smile, one that doesn’t meet her eyes.  
“I brought you up your dinner, I figured you were hungry.” He says, entering the room and putting the plates on her desk.  
“Thank you.” She sighs. Cullen pulls up a chair and sits, cutting into his meat, quietly. The silence between them was comfortable, as Eloren picks up her fork and picks at her potatoes. “Do you think I was too hard on Alexius today?” She asks, looking up from under her long eyelashes.  
“I don’t,” Cullen says, swallowing a drink of his ale. “I think you gave an educated punishment based on what he did and what’s best for everyone here at Skyhold and their safety.” He wipes his mouth on his napkin.  
“I still am regretting tranquility.” She says quietly. Looking out the window. Cullen reaches across the table and puts his hand on hers. Looking up at him she give him a small smile.  
“Don’t.” He said sternly. “Like you said at judgment, he’d misused his magic, and cannot be trusted. You have to keep everyone here safe, and in the end, him too.” Cullen gets up from his chair and walks around the desk. He pulls her up into his arms and gives her a long hug. Her hair smells like summer, and her skin is soft against his cheek. He kisses her neck and pulls back from her, looking into her eyes.  
“There’s some business in Ferelden that needs tending to tomorrow, would you like to come with me?”   
Her eyes lit up slightly at the idea.  
“Wherever you go, Cullen, I’ll follow you.”


	15. Decadent Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their night away, Cullen & Eloren enjoy a late night swim with a twist.

Cullen grabs my hand as we walk across an old rickety pier. The air is warm and sticky, the firebugs starting to come out. The water beneath our feet was clear, and rippling from the large waterfall gracefully tumbling off the boulders around us. Only a few beds of moss and lily pads litter the cool water. The wood squeaks under our weight as we reach the end of the pier.  
“Where are we?” I ask, grabbing Cullen’s hand and facing him.  
“You walk into danger every day. Willingly, I might add, and I thought that I could take you away from that, even if it were only a moment.” He says, rubbing my cheek with the back of his hand. I close my eyes and lean into his large hand, the calluses pressing against my cheekbone. “I grew up not far from here,” he continues, lowering his hand. I open my eyes to look into his. “This place was always quiet.” He says, looking out at the beauty before us.  
“Did you come here often, then?” I ask.  
“I loved my siblings, but they were ungodly loud, I came here to clear my head. Unfortunately, they’d always find me here eventually.” He chuckles.  
“You were happy here.” I say kicking a stone from the pier and watching it sink to the bottom with a pleasant splooshing sound.  
“I was, and still am.” He smiles at me, his cheeks turning a little red. I wrap my arms around his neck and put my forehead on his. “It’s wonderful, Cullen.” I whisper. “Plus, we’re alone.” I wink at him and kiss him briefly. His lips are always so soft and warm. I can’t seem to get enough of them.  
“The thought may have crossed my mind.” He says, brushing a stray hair from my face. “The last time I came here, was the day I left for Templar Training. My brother gave me this.” He opens his hand and holds it out to me. Inside was a small coin, with Andraste’s face on it. It is slightly tarnished, and warn. “He just so happened to have it in his pocket, and gave it to me saying it was for luck. Templars aren’t supposed to carry such things. It’s said that we don’t need things like this because our Faith should guide us through everything.” He is so passionate about this subject. I could tell by how warm his voice was becoming.  
“Cullen!” I say, pretending to be appalled. “YOU broke the Templar Order? I’m SHOCKED!” I raise my hand to my mouth, mocking complete and utter disbelief.  
“Until a year ago, I became very good at following the Order’s rules, most of the time.” He chuckles, rubbing the coin between his fingers. “This is the only thing that I took from Ferelden that the Order didn’t give me.” He steps towards me, grabbing my hand from my side. “Humor me.” He says, placing the coin in my palm. “You don’t know what the dangers you’ll face.”  
I close my palm around the coin, my heart full of warmth, and my stomach tickling with butterflies. “Thank you, Cullen. I’ll keep it safe.”  
“Good, I know it seems foolish, but I’m glad.” He smiles, his pearly whites dazzling me. He hugs me close, and lifts my chin with his pointer finger. He kisses me, his lips urgent, full of passion and need. Our tongues greet each other easily, swirling around with heat and urgency. I push my hips against his, my legs growing weak. He wraps his arms around my waist, his stomach molding against mine. We went together like a perfect puzzle, every curve of his body kissing mine, fireworks shooting through us.  
I pull away, hesitantly, panting and wanting so much more. He looks at me, his eyes filled with desire.  
His hands tuck at the waistband of my armor.   
Grabbing at my belt, he unhooks my spell book, and thigh plates. I look at his grey eyes, smoldering with lust and wrap my arms around his neck. Letting my bottoms fall to the pier, he begins unhooking my breastplate, shoulder guards, and over shirt. Cullen’s mouth bites at my neck as I stand in front of him, the low moonlight now glistening off every inch of my naked skin.  
His warm hands cup my ass as we kiss, pulling me close to him. I grab at his buckles on his back, releasing his breastplate and shoulder guards. He lets go of me long enough to let them go clanking to the pier, causing the noise to echo around us.  
I grab at his undershirt, ripping it from his chest. The ferocity of my attack causes him to moan deep in his throat as his shirt opens and our stomachs rub together. Cupping my breast with one hand, he runs his fingers through my hair with the other, pulling my head back so he has access to my neck. Moaning softly, I run my fingers down his happy trail and to his belt.   
Undoing his belt, and hearing more metal crash onto the pier, it was only his pants left. Easing my hand over the front of his pants, I feel his growing erection. Running my hand up and down his clothed shaft, I bite his bottom lip, teasing him further.  
He chuckled low in his throat. It gave me goosebumps and butterflies. Like a challenge I’m all too eager to except. 

I couldn’t help but giggle, as I wriggle from his grasp and dive into the water, the cool water rushing over my skin, quieting my hot need for him. Blowing large bubbles out my nose, I surface close to the waterfall. Looking back, I see Cullen smirking at me, all too irritated with my game. Finally, he finishes stripping down, and stands before me, his body all mine to soak in. The moonlight glistened off his chest, his chest hair hiding a lot of his scars I knew he had. His stomach was tight, his abdominal muscles peeking at me from under his happy trail. His thighs were all muscle, sitting below his narrow hips, and his delicious looking penis. I bite my lip as I make eye contact with him again. My cheeks turn slightly red when he raises his eyebrow at me, knowing where I’ve been gazing.   
“Oh, Eloren. I don’t know that you know what you’ve gotten yourself into. This is quite the game you want to play.” His voice was smooth, and calm. Stepping off the pier, and into the water, he wades closer to me, tantalizingly slow; the water slowly making it’s way up his body.   
I back up underneath the waterfall, the cool water splashing onto my head, and loosening my ponytail, so it elegantly falls between my shoulder blades. He joins me, his curly locks coming loose. He grabs my waist and pulls me to him. It’s electric, and hot, our skin meeting one other.  
“Even though you tease me, you’re so beautiful.” He says, tracing his pointer finger over my collarbones. “And I am going to get you back for the torture you’ve put me through the last two days.” He grins.  
I smile back at him, as I run my fingers through his hair. His eyes roll back in his head as I gently message his scalp with my fingernails. A soft moan escapes his lips as he relaxes underneath me. “Hasn’t anybody ever taken care of you, Commander?” I whisper.  
“Not like you can.” He answers. His words melt like butter in the air between us, and I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing his chest, collarbones, and neck softly. With each kiss, I pause, and listen to his breathing. “Oh, Maker.” He moans. I couldn’t help but smile as I continue my decent around his shoulders, and down his spine. “Alright, that’s enough!” He exclaims as he spins around to face me, his eyes burning with a passion I have never seen before.  
He grabs my hands and pins them above my head, the rock wall against my back was cool and slippery with moss. My muscles and ribs are screaming, but I don’t care.   
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Everything about you drives me mad, in the most intoxicating way, I quit my lyrium addiction, only to move onto your addiction. Your scent is like a forest, voice like the sweetest of Bard Melodies, and it’s all I have ever wanted.” He says, his tone deep. “I plan on making you cum over and over and each one will belong to me.”   
“Oh, Maker.” I whisper. I wrap my arms around his neck and begin to kiss him, our tongues clashing once again.  
The back of his hand runs across my face, down my neck, over my shoulder and down my chest, cupping my breast in his hand. He massages me gently, making me moan into his mouth. He teases my nipple with his thumb and first finger, making my knees begin to tingle as my nipple rose with pleasure under his touch. He grabs my leg with his other hand, and places it on his hip. I wrap my calf around his back, letting it come to rest right above his curvaceous back end.  
Releasing my ankle, he runs his fingers up my thigh, onto my belly, and plays with my belly button. Bucking my hips upward, I guide him to where I really want him.  
He chuckles into my neck, sending goose bumps to every inch of my body. Tantalizingly slowly, he makes his way down, to my favorite place. He gasps as he touches my heat, slipping one finger inside me. I throw my head back, and let my mouth fall open as he swirls his finger inside me.  
I feel him hardening again on my stomach as he pulls his fingers in and out of me, making me pant for more. My legs begin to shake, as he moves his thumb around my clitoris.  
“Cullen,” I breathe, “I want you.” I felt him smile against my neck as he withdrew his fingers.  
“Anything for you, Inquisitor.”  
Adjusting himself under me, he rubs the head of his penis against my sex. He pushes himself into me, just a little, enough for me to gasp as I adjust to his size. I open my eyes and put my forehead against his. His eyes are bright, opened wide, and blazing into mine. He was gasping slightly, his chest rising and falling with my rapid heartbeat. “Is this okay?” He says his voice laced with concern. I chuckled as I regained my composure.  
“Yes, Love.” I whisper as I grab his delicious ass and pull him to me, pushing his full length into me at once. His breath hitches in his throat as he realizes what I’ve just done. With a mischievous smile on his face, he kisses me, hard. He begins to move, slowly, torturing my body with his ability. Gyrating his hips in a circle, he hits every inch of me. My legs begin to shake again, as he brings me closer to my climax.  
I throw my head back again, as I begin to move my hips with his.  
“Oh, Eloren, you’re so wet.” He whispers into my ear. His words are almost my undoing as I claw at his back with my fingernails. He gasps due to my feverish attack, but begins to move faster under my haste. Around and around he goes, raising me higher and higher. I grab his chin with my hands and pull him to me, shoving my tongue in his mouth. He moves faster, the familiar tingle rising from my toes, to my knees, to my thighs, and then settles itself at my center.  
“Tell me.” I moan in Cullen’s ear.  
“Cum for me.” He says, with determination.  
Throwing my head back, I let go, a tingly fire exploding from every inch of me as I wrap myself around him, his name escaping my lips, the noise of my ecstasy echoing off the rock alcove around us.   
Cullen slows as I come down, kissing my cheeks, neck, and breasts. I shiver as he gently sucks on my sensitive nipples. He gazes at me as I come back down to Earth.  
“How do you feel?” He whispers.  
“Happy to be with you.” I say, my voice barely audible.  
Withdrawing out of me, he flips me over and puts my hands on the stone wall.   
“Brace yourself, Eloren. I’m repaying you for your glorious torture in my bedroom.” He says as he kisses the back of my neck.   
“Oh my.” I whisper, as he spreads my legs apart, causing the cool water to hit my vagina. I had forgotten his secret promise from his bedroom, and I’m all too excited to witness my payback. Lifting my butt higher, he inserts himself into me from behind, filling me in a whole different way.  
A small moan escapes my lips as he finds his pattern before hammering into me.


	16. Cumming Home Early

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Corypheus screws up everything everywhere else, Eloren and Cullen can always count on one other.

“We’ve found the source of the Demon army. They’re camped up in an old ruin to the West. Stroud is convinced that the Wardens going in, and not coming out, are sacrificing themselves for the cause. When meeting, he explained to us the Calling, and the fear it puts into the Wardens, they’ll do anything they’re bound to do.  
We investigate tomorrow night, after we monitor their movements, transitions of the guards, and have the element of surprise.  
Hope to be back at Skyhold in four days if every thing goes as planned.  
Thanks, Leliana,  
Eloren”

Cullen reads the report over and over. It’s the first time he’d heard from Eloren in over a week.  
“That came in at dawn,” Leliana purrs, “My scouts are keeping a close watch on them all.”  
“Thank you.” Cullen whispers, folding up the piece of paper and laying it back on Leliana’s desk. With a sigh, he returns to the window to watch the Ravens coming in and out of the tower.  
“Commander, she’s in safe hands. She made sure to take the best of the crew with her, and Stroud has been there studying the situation for almost three weeks.” Leliana sits down at her desk and begins organizing the many reports that sat upon it. Cullen didn’t answer her, but instead sulks across room, out the door, and towards the barracks. He needed to get all this stress and pent up energy, and put it to good use.  
Taking command of his sword, he centers himself around his practice dummy. Taking strikes at it, he loses himself in his moves. Focusing on the battle strikes, his speed, his accuracy. It wasn’t long before his muscles began to burn, a sheen of sweat making itself apparent on his brow. Over and over he hit, making sure to never miss a beat. As the sun starts to set, his body began to tire, his hits got weaker, and less accurate. His mind began to float past the dummy, and the moves he could practice in his sleep. Eventually his mind falls on her, and the night they’d shared together before she left. 

The sounds she made as he kissed her neck, and rubbed his hands down her lower back were enough to drive him mad. The pleasure she oozed from her skin because of him was addicting. He nibbled on her ears as her hips found their rhythm around him, grinding against his crotch for friction. He eased in and out of her, slowly, waiting for her to cum. He could feel her insides tightening around him, and he picked up the pace. Her eyes shut and he knew he’d lost her in her own pleasure.  
“Tell me.” She whispered. Everything in his body tightened at her command, and knowing it would only take his words to undo her was ecstasy.  
“Cum for me.” He whispered.  
She exploded around him, her body clenching around his, her arms around his neck tightening as she gave him all that she had, emotionally and physically.  
He slowed, letting her come down from her orgasm. Her eyes fluttered open, full of life, but sated.  
He was close, and turning her over to see her curvaceous back side only helped him. The cute crease she had in her lower back, it formed a bowl so perfectly. The water around them pooled in it over and over as they moved together.  
She pushed against him pushing against her in the most perfect rhythm. They fit together, and they belonged together.  
Picking up speed, he held onto her hips, avoiding the small bruising still left on her rib cages. Her moaning picked up again as he found his pace, and she gripped the mossy wall harder. He was so close, knowing that she was all his, and it was just them in this sacred place.  
“Cullen,” she whispered, “give it to me.” 

“Commander Cullen?” Iron Bull’s strong voice pulls him from his memory. Looking over, he sees Bull’s awkward figure walking across the courtyard to him. How long had he been standing there, looking at the dummy and panting? It couldn’t have been long.  
“Yes, Bull?” He clears his throat, sitting on a rock nearby.  
“Leliana has received intel on the Inquisitor and the Demon Army.” Cullen stands then, giving Bull his full attention. “Another letter came in, one that had only been sent a few hours after this morning’s. They attacked today after some strange magic began to cause the Herald’s hand to pulsate. Lucky they did, because they walked right into a huge sacrifice ceremony, where one of Corypheus’ minions was transforming Wardens into demons, even after they disclosed their non-consent.”  
“What does that mean, is everyone alright?” Cullen says, stiffening.  
“This is the part you’re not going to like, boss.”  
Cullen sheathed his sword in impatience.  
“Do you know the name “Livius Erimond?”” 

“So you’re telling me, the Order has been corrupted, the man who used to oversee it has been murdered, and they’re now being run by some fucking ass-hat Tevinter Magister all while being corrupted into fucking demons?!” Cullen screams across the war table. Leliana calmly flips through the notes Eloren sent over, reading every single word over again.  
“They interrupted “The Binding Sacrifice” when they walked in on them today and wounded Erimond.” She says, keeping her calm voice down. “They’re on their way back here, where we will then take the next steps to figure out what Corypheus will do now that we know, and where he’s headed next.”  
Cullen looks down at his hands, white knuckled, his stomach in knots. “The Order was all I had, and now it’s gone.” He sighs, drooping his head.  
“We have to stay in this together, not every man is corrupted, just like not every Warden wanted this.” Josephine quips. “Our next move is to go to Adamant Fortress.”  
“Alright.” Cullen’s voice is dry, and harsh. “I’ll get our troops prepared for the battle to come. Leliana, I need your scouts to locate the fortress and help me with my battle plans. Get the catapults, we leave in three days.” 

 

*** 

Preparing the troops for battle is a whole other concept than just training. Cullen has spent three days preaching, correcting, and telling the men they’d literally put their armor on backwards. He doesn’t know what would come of this battle. They had four days to get their battle plans marked, practiced, and then eventually executed without losing half their army.  
“Commander.” A scruffy voice rang over the soldier’s screams and sword clanks. Turning around, he sees Blackwall approaching.  
“Yes, Blackwall?” Cullen tries to keep from sighing.  
“Please, may I help? I’ve been watching, and I’ve studied your plans for Adamant. I know I can help, I want them to know that not all Wardens are terrible, and we should plan on giving the ones that haven’t been turned yet, the benefit of the doubt. Let me talk to them, prepare them, and educate them on what some of the Wardens are going through so they know what they are and are not up against.” He talks with his hands, showing his passion, and his need to fulfill this, for himself, and his fellow Wardens.  
“Yes, Blackwall, by all means do. My goal isn’t to come out of this just a winner, I need every man and woman back here, I don’t want to lose my men, though I’m not naïve enough to think I won’t. They need your input as much as they need mine.”  
Blackwall nods respectfully. “Thank you Sir, I won’t let you down.” Walking away from him then, he heads towards the courtyard, filled with the noise of clanking shields and men yelling curse words the ladies in the Garden definitely would not appreciate.  
Walking up the battlement steps was almost too much for Cullen, his armor wearing blisters in his feet. Opening the door to his quarters, he approaches the dummy in the corner and begins taking off his armor, piece by piece and hanging it up. Changing into his night clothes, he settles in at his desk, going over the plans he felt were already burned into his memory.  
Flipping the pages mindlessly, his thoughts wander back to Eloren, and her safety. She should be back tomorrow, where she will then be fully caught up on everything that needs to be done, and run through her training as well. He looks forward to seeing her in her serious mindset. It was a different Eloren, a serious one that rocked him to the core. She meant business, and he liked to listen to her commands, like a weird kink or something.  
Getting up from his desk, he makes his way up his latter and into bed. Throwing his shirt on the floor, he settles in under the satin sheets, the same satin sheets he first saw Eloren naked in. 

***  
He sat in his arm chair, watching her sleep, the moonlight shining off her breasts. Her breath was steady, a slight snore coming from her throat. He chuckled, thinking that despite how intoxicated she was, it didn’t show in her sleep whatsoever. She was sprawled out, one foot hanging off the bed, dreaming quietly. He rested his chin on his hand as he watched her, thinking about how soft her skin looked, and how much he wanted to touch her breasts, her hips, stroke her hair between his fingers.  
She began to stir, and a small moan escaped her lips. His name. He sat bolt upright, listening as she giggled again, moaned, and rolled over, facing away from him. He knew then that what he had was special, and by The Maker he’d make her say his name like that more often.  
***

A slight shift in Cullen’s world jolts him, and he hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep. He opens his eyes rapidly, where he sees Eloren, in her underclothes, smiling down at him. He blinks rapidly, trying to clear his vision to be sure what he was seeing was real.  
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” She whispers.  
“Eloren?” He chokes, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.  
“Hi.” She coos, rubbing his cheek with the back of her hand.  
“Hi.” He smiles as she finishes climbing into bed with him.  
“What’s Leliana going to say? Pushing your exhausted crew through the night and making it home half a day early, without her knowing, and then on top of that, finding you in the Commander’s bed?” Cullen laughs, wrapping his arms around her warm waist.  
“Well aren’t I the worst?” Eloren says, smiling against his chest. “I couldn’t wait any longer. I missed you.”  
He smiles against her scalp, breathing in her scent. “What were you dreaming about?” She asks, looking up at him.  
“You.”  
A big smile comes across her face, “What about me?”  
“The first night I ever saw you naked.” He chuckles. Her face gets hot against his chest. Lifting her chin, he kisses her softly. “Don’t be embarrassed, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He gives her his crooked smile before kissing her, his tongue playing on her lips. Opening her mouth, she greets his tongue with the warmth of hers, swirling it around his, telling him all the stories he needed to know.  
He hugged her closer, bringing her chest against his, as he kissed her. Her hands wrap in his hair, gently pulling, as she bit his bottom lip. A small moan rises from him then, and she sits up, untying her hair from her braid. It falls down her shoulders and rests across the front of her breasts, so silky, and wet from the last wash. Sitting up with her, he brushes the remaining hair from her face. She leans her head into his hand before crawling onto his lap, where they embrace one other. Looking into her eyes, he began massaging her body with his fingers. She rolls her head back and moans as her muscles relax against him. He felt her weight collapse onto his lap as he moves his hands down her back, and to her thighs, taking the stress away from her, inch by inch. Moaning softly, she tilts her head back up, her eyes burning a steady blaze. Leaning forward, he lays her down on the bed on her back, and she stretches out underneath him, her pale skin glowing in the moonlight coming in from the window.  
He kisses her softly on the lips, he kisses the crease between the tendons in her neck, moving down to her collarbones. He kisses each one once, and runs his tongue down her sternum. Moving his hands upwards, he massages each breast in a callused hand, gently, avoiding her nipples as they harden with pleasure.  
Reaching her bellybutton, he stops, and listens to her breathing. It has gotten a little more rapid with the excitement he’s bringing to her delectable body. Her peach fuzz on her belly tickled his chin as he watched her. Her eyes were closed, and she lay very still, soaking in every single sensation.  
He kisses her hips, softly, running his face back and forth to each one before continuing down to the apex of her thighs. Her scent reminded him of the forest, with a lick of honeydew due to her current arousal. He pushes on the back of both thighs so she’d widen her legs for him to get the full view of the most beautiful woman in Ferelden. He looks at her once more, her eyes still shut, her ankles open, knees apart, her hands spread out on his sheets, clutching at them, waiting, almost panting for what comes next.  
Leaning down he kisses her softly. She pulls away, in shock, he assumes, before she relaxes again underneath him. With his tongue, he circles her, avoiding her sweet spot. She shifts under him, growing more and more aroused, irritated maybe that he’s avoiding the obvious. He slips his first finger inside her, feeling her arousal. “Damn,” he whispers quietly, “All this for me, Eloren?” She doesn’t answer him, but looking up at her, a shy smile stretches across her face. Leaning down once more, he eases his finger in and out of her, softly, as he finds her clit with his tongue. She breathes in sharply as he makes contact, swirling his tongue around her, savoring her moans, like music to his ears.  
Over and over he goes, swirling and taking his finger in and out of her, like a slow dance between lovers at a wedding.  
She begins to tighten up, her toes begin to curl. He doesn’t stop his rhythm and watches her body slowly coming undone beneath him. Her mouth opens as she breathes through clenched teeth, dying to let go.  
“Ahhhh, Cullen!”  
“Eloren.” He whispers, her arousal coated across his lips. Finally, she lets go, gripping at the sheets and speaking his name, loud enough to echo off the walls of Skyhold.  
He moves his fingers inside of her as she comes down, not to overwhelm her senses before she completely relaxes. Panting, she opens her eyes. Her cheeks redden at her noise making, and he offers her his hand.  
“How was that, a good welcome home gift?” He says, smiling.  
“I’ve never… yes.” She stutters, sitting up and straddling him once more. She looks down at him, his erection giving him away. She unbuttons the top button and pulls at the waistband. Lifting his butt off the mattress, she pulls of his night pants, and sets him free.


	17. No Foolin Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana is sure to get everyone back in order to prepare for Adamant.

I couldn’t fathom how beautiful this man was underneath me. Leaning back on his arms, I couldn’t help but just stare, and soak him in. His tight ab muscles, his biceps, his delicious penis throbbing beneath me. What he had just done to me was incredible, I’ve never felt this before. Leaning down, I go to put him in my mouth. He catches my chin and shakes his head no. I’m confused, and a little hurt before sitting back up straight. He realizes what he’s just conveyed and a low chuckle comes from his lips. He cups the back of my neck and whispers to me, “This is for you, this is all about you. Let me show you how I feel.” He grabs my hands and pulls me onto him, so I’m straddling the most sensitive part of his body.   
“Slowly,” he teaches, as I lower myself onto him. The head of his penis brushes against my still sensitive heat, and it makes me jump up before settling back down again, letting him fill me completely. I watch as I lower my whole-body weight onto his hips, a slow hiss comes through his teeth as he sucks in a hasty breath, feeling my arousal around him. His eyes are closed, and goosebumps rise on his skin. Wrapping his arms around me, like a big bear hug, he holds me close, not moving me, or himself. Opening his eyes, I see something I didn’t know I could see in a man’s eyes. He was raw, he was here with me, and nowhere else. I lean my head down and kiss him softly, opening my mouth to his. His tongue meets mine, and his hands move to my hips, where they coach me to rock forward and backwards on top of him.   
The feeling was exquisite, I felt him in all of me, everywhere, consuming my body, and my brain. He moans as I find my rhythm with his. I wrap my arms around his neck as I pick up my pace.   
“Eloren.” He moans, looking up at me. The look in his eyes was almost embarrassment. I chuckle as I keep moving, feeling the tingling in my toes rising quickly to my thighs.   
“It’s okay,” I whisper, “I’m close too.” He sighs with relief as he relaxes against me once more and let his body take control. Feeling the edge of my orgasm approaching, I speed up, holding onto his shoulders for support.   
“Cullen..” I whine.   
“Come on, baby.” He says, leaning back and watching me ride him. “Come on, together.” He says through gritted teeth. It was enough to knock me over the edge as I ride out our orgasms together, throwing my head back and moaning his name over and over until I saw stars. He grips my thighs as he finishes his, moaning softly as he comes down.   
Crawling off him, I lay beside him and put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat slow.   
“How was that, a good I missed you gift?” I whisper, my breath still rapid. He chuckles as he lifts my chin up to meet his gaze. “You are…” he pauses… closing his eyes a few times. “I have never felt anything like this.” My heart flutters as he speaks these words to me, his voice almost a whisper.   
Watching his eyes close once more, I know he’s close to sleep. Adjusting myself beside him, I lay my head on his chest, listening to his heart lull me to sleep. 

***

Rustling beside me wakes me, opening my eyes I see the dawn isn’t too far off. Rolling over, I see Cullen, his face scrunched up in pain, mumbling things I can’t make out. I lay my hand on his chest and he wakes, violently, sitting up quickly, and looking around.   
“Hey.” I whisper, touching his chin and bringing his wild eyes to mine. He sighs quietly, resting his hand on mine on his cheek, and closing his eyes in relief.   
“Bad dream?” I ask, concerned.   
“They always are.” He sighs. “But they’re a lot less bad when I wake up to you.” He says, opening his eyes again. Their copper hue could bring any woman to her knees. I felt my heart skip a beat.   
“Last night you said you’d never felt anything like this before.” I start, looking down at my hands.   
He lifts my chin with his finger, making me look at him. “I haven’t.” He says, petulant. “I have never woken up with a woman in my bed that I wanted to stay there for a very long time.” He smirks at me.   
“What are you trying to say, Commander?” I hiss, glaring at him.   
“I love you.” He says, grabbing my hands from my lap. My whole world stops, as I look him in the eyes, shock clear on my face. He smiles at me, before releasing one of my hands to rub the back of his neck nervously.   
“Cullen, I love you too.” I say, kissing him passionately. 

“I told you that next time it would be me.” A fiery purr comes to my ears, shaking me to the bone. I bolt upright, jostling Cullen awake in the process. At the balcony door stands Leliana. Her hood is casting a large afternoon shadow down onto her eyes, but I know they’re piercing into me. Cullen jumps, looking around crazily, trying to catch his bearings.   
“So, Inquisitor. You decided to come home early?” She says, as she walks in the door. Cullen, bright red, realizes what is happening and does his best to regain his composure. Clearing his throat, he looks at Leliana, slightly irritated. “Don’t you know how to knock?”   
“My duties are to the Inquisition, Commander. And since the Inquisition is sleeping the day away with the leader of our troops, I figured I’d pay an unwelcome but needed visit. We leave for Adamant in two days. Get your shit together.” She walks back out onto the balcony and down towards her office. Looking over at Cullen, my face blanches.   
“Well shit.” I sigh. I rub my eyes and get out of bed, pulling on my armor. “Adamant in two days? Are we ready?”   
“Let’s not talk about that now,” Cullen sighs. “Let’s talk about how gorgeous your body looks in that afternoon sun, huh?” He says, getting up from bed and wrapping his arms around me. His chiseled body is in my full view, and it’s all mine. He stops my hands pulling up on the waistband of my pants and kisses me softly. Over and over. Giving in, I wrap my arms around his neck and sigh into his lips. “I’d love to wake up to you every morning, Inquisitor.”   
Suddenly, I hear a familiar hiss come through the door. My hair pulls slightly and my back feels a quick but powerful heat spike before I hear the sound like a nail hitting the doorframe. Cullen jumps, grabbing me, and throwing us both into the chair in the corner. We land awkwardly, all legs and arms, searching for the attacker. Naked. We are looking for the attacker naked.   
Gaining some composure, I look over above the head of the bed, where a flaming arrow had lodged itself, a note attached to it. Getting up quickly, I grab it and quiet the flames. Opening the note, my stomach drops.   
“NOW.” 

I flip the paper around and show Cullen. He doesn’t look over at me, but instead won’t stop staring at the floor. Following his gaze, I look down. On the floor is a pile of mahogany colored hair. I grab the back of my hair and rip it forward to look it over. Sure enough. Straight cut. A solid two inches gone. Cullen looks up at me, confused on weather to smile or be angry.   
“Well. Shorter hair does look good on you.”


	18. Gone Are The Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen faces the truth of what happened at Adamant.

She’s gone.   
Eloren, Dorian, Bull, Sera and Solas are gone.   
Cullen stands at the end of what’s left of the bridge at Adamant, looking down where they were said to have fallen into Eloren’s Rift.   
He sat on his knees, listening. His hands shook, everything about his body felt cold, and empty.   
“Sir. We must head back with the Wardens. Blackwall has them ready to return to Skyhold.”   
Cullen barely hears him.   
“Cullen. We must go.” Cassandra grabs him under his arm. Rising with force he rips his elbow from her grasp and turns on her, inches from her face, ready to protest, until he sees her. A quiet tear rolls down her cheek. He immediately softens. She feels an ounce of what he does.   
“We don’t know the outcome, but we can’t assume they’re all gone. Come. We must get our troops back home and prepare to House the Wardens too.” She says, putting her hand on his shoulder.   
“I can’t leave her, Cassandra.” His voice cracks as his composure begins to crumble. He swallows hard.   
“She’s not here.” He looks over his shoulder once more at the scarred sky where the rift opened, swallowed his life, and sealed itself shut again. “We have funeral plans for us, The Wardens, and Clarel. We owe them that right.” He looks back at her, his resolve made for him.   
We owed them that right. 

*** 

The sound of his horses hooves and wounded men fill his ears. The voices of the wounded swirl in his head, with the flashes of Eloren’s bright green eyes. The way she ran her fingers through her hair in the morning, and how she picked out her peas at dinner.   
They were about half a day from Skyhold, many men might perish before then. When it came down to it, they did good. Cullen’s troops proved themselves worthy. A lot more worthy than the upside down shield wielding noodle armed army he had just a few days prior.   
The next plan of action will be to find a home for everyone, study and prepare their next move against Corypheus. He’ll be pissed to know we have jammed up his plans a second time.   
“She will come back, Cullen.” Cassandra’s warm voice comes to him, bringing him back to the now. He doesn’t here the sincere Cassandra often. Her voice is beautiful when it’s not sarcastic and cursing. He doesn’t answer none the less.   
He remembers yesterday evening, at dinner. Listening to Eloren making last minute plans with her crew. Blackwall letting her in on Warden mindset, and Sera sharpening her arrows with her teeth. Dorian twirled his mustache while eyeing one of his soldiers from across the room.   
“Are we ready?’ She asks Cullen, putting down her fork.   
“As ready as we can be, Inquisitor.” He said, looking around the table. Bull nodded at him in agreement.   
“Listen Boss. I’m big, and scary. Let those demons come at me. I’ll kick their ass twice before they touch us. I’ve got your back.” He beats his chest once with his fist, bowing his horned head.   
She looked up at him, her eyes nervous, guarded. He nodded, and smiled. Her face softened then, allowing her freckles, and her kindred spirit shine through her porcelain skin. She raised an eyebrow at him, and winked. His gut filled with butterflies, knowing where her thoughts had taken her.   
“Oh.. shut up you two.” Sera chimed in. “For the love of… don’t you two ever quit?” Eloren looked over at her, throwing some gristle from her meat off her plate at her. “It’s bad enough the roof of the tavern has the most awkward view of your Prince’s tower.”   
“Wait, you spy on us?” Eloren was appalled, her mouth slack.   
“Holy shit, you don’t.” Bull laughs, chugging the rest of his ale. “I mean, is it anything interesting?!” 

“You love her.” Cassandra’s voice is back again.   
“More than anything I’ve ever thought I’ve loved.” He says flatly.   
“Andraste will bring her home, you must believe that.” She strides next to him easily, their horses long strides in unison.   
“Maker, I hope so.” He looks at her again, and his heart falls. He gives her a right smile. He smacks the reins to begin the long gallop home.


	19. The Fade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloren and Team are shoved into the Fade. Where many things await them.

“Holy shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Ffuuucckkk.”  
“Sera.” I warn. It’s green. Everything is green. Rocks and monuments hung in the air and a putrid smell of death lingers everywhere we go.   
“Boss, I signed up for your Inquisition, but I didn’t sign up for this fade shit. I don’t want to be in the ass of Demon Town.” Bull says, Sera slung over his shoulder like a doll, hardly protesting.   
“You like to be in any sort of ass anyway?” Dorian chirps.   
“Are we dead?” Hawk asks. “Because if so the Chantry owes me a big apology. This is shite.”   
“No, we aren’t dead. The inquisitor opened a rift and we fell through.” Alistair says curtly. Brushing off his cheeks where he face planted in the dirt.   
“This is The Fade.” Solas speaks softly. “We’ve survived. This is incredible. I’ve never been here physically. Look, the Black City. We can almost touch it.”   
“So this scary shit is the fade?” Sera bellows. Bull smacks her ass to quiet her. “what the fuck is the Black City?” She screams in protest.  
“We must keep going.” I say, dusting off my clothes and walking down the narrow path. “Solas, what are we getting into?” I say, jumping over a large crack in the ground.   
“It looks to me that whatever demon houses this section of the fade is a powerful one, and needs to be avoided. The Fade feeds off of emotions, intent and fear. Keep our goal clear and it should be easy. We shan’t wander. And don’t give in to it’s games.”   
“Keep straight. Don’t show fear… in the most terrifying place known to man. Got it.” I spit, almost rolling my eyes.   
“The stories say you walked out of the Fade in Haven, Inquisitor. Was it like this?” Hawke asks.   
“From what I remember, yes. I was being chased by spiders, running after the Divine. She saved me.” I shiver.   
Rounding the corner, we all stop at once, our breath hitched in our throats. The Divine stands in front of us, as regal as ever.   
Approaching her I ask, “How are you here?”   
“It doesn’t matter how. I’m here to help you. We don’t have much time.” She answers.  
“You must understand our questions, Divine Justinia. Can we trust you? Are you a demon?” Hawke pipes in.   
“You choose to believe what you must. In the end does it matter what I am now? If I was a demon, what good would it do me to guide you out of this mess?.” She states, her hands folded in front of her. “But first you must dig deep, find your memories. And those will set you free from the Fade. Hurry. We don’t have much time.”   
She says again, and then she’s gone. 

Walking forward through the place she once stood, we gather into a small field. Looking ahead I see a few wandering wraiths, going in circles over and over. Their green hues almost invisible against the color of the “sky.” All of the sudden, orbs of light shoot up from the grass and pelt into my skin, jolting my brain into a fuzzy vision.

Gray Wardens holding the Divine, Corypheus with an orb, and me running into the Chantry to save her, her screams for help ringing in my ears. Knocking the orb out of Corypheus’ hand, I pick it up, and a bolt of lightning flashes down through me, my spine bending backwards with the force, and exploding outwards, causing everything to go white. I resurface from the vision, tired, and pained. I look down at my hand, the green slash pulsing with my heartbeat. 

“So. It wasn’t Andraste.” Alistair says, dropping his weapon.   
“Wait. What? What the shitballs?”   
“Boss, quite frankly I’m confused.” Bull says, holding his head and squinting.   
“I guess I interrupted his ritual.” I say, shock consuming me. “Am I not the chosen one?”   
“Corypheus had stolen the orb and was using it as an anchor. You disrupted his plans and it planted the anchor on your hand.” Solas says, rubbing his temples and centering himself back around his staff.   
“He’s right.” I say flatly.   
We turn and see The Divine again, this time slightly further ahead of us. “Corypheus wants to destroy our world by ruining the veil between it and the Fade. Not for the old Gods, but for himself. The destruction he tends to cause could wipe out the world. Come. We must keep moving. They know you’re here now.” She disappears, an orb of light taking her form, and shoots forward, causing us to all run after her. 

“Ah. We have some visitors.” A big voice booms, causing me to stop cold in my tracks. “What a silly little girl you are to come reclaim the fears that I so gladly took from you. It seems that you’ve come to me in my home, so I’ll do kindly reestablish what I thought you’d appreciate forgetting.”   
“Don’t acknowledge him.” I hiss, slamming my firestorm down on incoming enemies.   
“Ah, Sera. If you shoot arrows at me, I’ll see you.” Corypheus laughs.   
“No you won’t. Get out of my head, assface.” She yells, plunging arrows into a spider.   
“He’s targeting our fears!” Solas yells. “Stay focused!”   
Running down a narrow rock canyon, we stop to take a breather.   
“What’s with all the spiders in this place?” Sera spits.   
“Spiders!?” Bull yells. “I’m seeing Hurlocks! I’d love to see pussy spiders!”   
“Remember, we are in the Fade. The Fade feeds on fear. And each spider we kill represents the tiny fears in the dream. Whichever fear we have most, our enemies will take shape of them to unnerve us.”  
“They’re basically defeating us from the inside out.” I sigh. I want to cry. I have never felt so emotionally, and spiritually defeated. Andraste didn’t choose me. I just walked in and fucked shit up. Per usual. “Come on. Let’s continue.”   
“The Nightmare is closer now. It knows you’re trying to escape. Keep moving, and watch your back.” Divine Justinia’s voice whispers. 

“Last time I was in the Fade, I was in a beautiful White Castle with drapes made of silks. I ran into a pleasure demon, if I recall. We sat on a bear skinned rug and ate cookies before he tried to posses me.” Dorian says, almost fondly. Breathing heavily from the battle, I look at him sideways.   
“What, is that some kind of weird kink for you, Dorian?” Bull asks, cleaning his weapon.   
“Of course it is!” Sera hissed. “Weird one he is.”   
Suddenly, the ground begins to shake, and the overlook we are sitting under begins to crumble. I look up, pieces of rock falling onto my face. I hear a deafening crack and raise my hands towards the sky. The whole rock face comes falling down, crashing down into me with all its force. I hold my arms up, forcing my ward to hold. Before long all that’s left is dust and ash. Opening my eyes I see Solas, ward up as well, protecting Hawke and Bull, cowering with their hands over their heads. My head gets dizzy and I drop my arms, my ward fading out as my mana is completely drained. 

“Oh shit, Boss…” Bull warns. I open my eyes again, my body sprawled out on the ground, and look right into the eyes of the biggest Fade demon I had ever seen. All arms and legs, it’s 100 eyes moved with twitchy precise movements, and it’s mouth hung slack, drooling out acid. Pedaling backwards I get back up to my feet prepare for an intense battle.   
Circling my team around me, I feel the fire growing in my soul as I get ready to summon my fire storm. Looking at Dorian, his fingertips blue with ice, and Solas, staff ready.   
Looking back over towards the ghoul, I raise my hands, but am thrown off when the Light of Divine Justinia appears once more in front of us.   
“You must go, Inquisitor. I can spare you time, please. And tell Leliana I am sorry.” Before I could say anything she shoots forward, giving the last of her holy energy to shoot the demon backwards and knocking him from his feet. To the right of him a Rift opens, and I can see the courtyard at home from the other side.   
“GO. WE MUST GO!” I scream, my voice cracking at the intensity. We take off running, half of my crew jumping through. Running up and ushering people through, a giant crawled leg cuts me off, and knocks me backwards. Solas helps me up, and looks towards the Rift.   
“I’ll stay.” Alistair says.   
“No, me.” Hawke says, walking in front of him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for assuming this was your fault, because the Wardens held a helping hand. But they need you. They need you to rebuild The Wardens and make them stronger. I want this. My family is waiting for me. Please. Go. I’ll define you, and hold my loved ones again soon.”   
My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. Alistair goes to protest, before another leg crashes down between us.   
“We have to go!” Solas shouts.   
“Hawke,” I start, tears rolling down my cheeks.   
“Go.” He says, giving me a nod and running into the abyss. Alistair and Solas grab me under the arms, pulling me through. I can’t stop screaming. “Hawke! No!”   
My body is sent flying, before I hit hard, on the cool grass at home; my voice weak, tears still running down my face.


	20. Aftershocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloren comes clean about what really happened at The Chantry.

A deafening roar hit Cullen like a bullet, the sound like time and space tearing apart, before he heard distinct thuds and huffs coming from the courtyard. Running to his balcony he sees Sera tumble out of the Rift, her bow in hand. Landing with a thud, she hits hard, Iron Bull right behind her, almost spearing her with his horns.   
“Holy shit, home!” She screams, hugging the ground and kissing the grass. 

They’re alive. 

He takes off down the battlements as each one of them crashes to the ground. He gets to them when Solas and Alistair bring a screaming Eloren through. They jumble together on the ground, seemingly unharmed. He reaches for them and helps them up before he reaches Eloren. She looks up at him, her face full of anguish and pain.   
“Eloren.” He whispers, picking her up. She falls into his arms like putty snuggling her face into his fur coat. “Are you alright? I thought you were gone forever.” He hugs her tight, her sobs quieted.   
“Hawke..” She sputters. “He’s gone.”   
“What?” Varric’s sharp voice hitches, a crowd gathering now. She pulls from him and address the crowd.   
“We’ve just come from the Fade.” She begins, wiping the tears from her eyes with her gloves. Her spell-book hung open on her thighs, her staff has a few more chips taken out of the handle. But other than a small scrape on her face, and her clothes dirtied, she looks stronger than ever. Cullen looks into her eyes, scarred over and scared from what she’s seen. “Hawke sacrificed himself to get us home.” Varric begins to pace.   
“No. No. This can’t be. This is all my fault.” He dumps his head in his hands and walks up the front steps, shoving past Leliana and Josephine.   
“Inquisitor! Are you alright?” Josephine yells, hurrying down the steps and hugging Eloren.   
“I’m fine, Josie.” She says, accepting her hug gingerly.   
“Clean yourself up, my dear, and meet me in my office.” Leliana says, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Cullen steps back, looking over to Blackwall, in his barn bandaging up the rest of the Wardens and creating more space for everyone.   
Everyone was home. If only it was a happier feeling.   
***  
“I brought you up some dinner.” Cullen says, opening the washroom door. Eloren sat in the water basin, her knees to her chest, quietly breathing. She looks at him, but doesn’t make eye contact.   
“Thank you, Cullen.” She whispers. Walking across the room, he puts her plate on the stools next to the tub.   
“‘Mind if I join you?” He asks. She raises her chin from her knees then, a curious look on her face. She scoots over in acceptance. Taking off his armor, he settles himself into the tub, the water level rising and almost spilling over the side. He sprawls out, opening his arms to her. Without hesitation, she crawls in his lap, bringing her sweet summer scent with her.   
“It’s terrible.” She says. Cullen stays quiet, and listens. “The Fade is terrible, losing Hawke is terrible. Trying to convince Varric none of this is his fault this afternoon was terrible.” She sighs, trying not to cry again. He wraps his arms around her shoulders.   
“You did good Eloren. If by all of that, and you only lose a man who volunteered to get you home, you did what you should’ve done.” He tries to calm her.   
“I saw the Divine.” She says. Cullen is taken aback slightly.  
“I saw the visions of what happened at the Chantry. I interrupted Corypheus. I knocked the orb from his hand with my intrusion, and when I picked it up, it laid the anchor on my palm. She opens her palm, running her left forefinger across the green gash. “I wasn’t the chosen one.” A single tear runs down her face.   
“I thought Andraste wasn’t a part of your upbringing?” Cullen treads lightly.   
“Doesn’t make the feeling of not being chosen by any divinity even more soul crushing. I’ve wandered this planet believing like I do, but just believing. I never had confirmation. This gave me my confidence that there was indeed something. Someone. Taking care of me.” She says, looking at him.   
“Why did you go to The Chantry that day? Of all days, why that one?”   
“I’m not sure. I just wanted to see the status on the mages vs. the Templars.” She says, looking down at her interwoven hands. “I’d heard rumor of the meeting. But didn’t know it was that day, exactly.”  
“So who’s to say Andraste’s guidance didn’t get you there?” He says, grabbing her hands in his. He holds them tight, and gives them a squeeze. “Don’t give up hope, Inquisitor. Don’t lose faith just because some demon convinced you otherwise.” He smiles at her, the light in her eyes returning a little bit. “Who’s to say that she’s not guiding you now, helping you, Maker, maybe even helping us?” He chuckles, the water splashing over the side a little bit.. “Maker knows the help I need.” He tilts his head black, closing his eyes.   
“Maybe I can help with that.”


	21. Fire & Ice

I straddle his lap, taking him by surprise. The warm water swirls around us, filling the room with the smell of lavender. He chuckles low in his throat as he raises his head to look at me. Our noses touch, and I smile. “I missed you, Commander.” I whisper.  
“I missed you too.” He swipes a stray hair behind my ear as he says this, and kisses me softly. It was a warm kiss. Like a welcome home from a long day of scavenging in the forest. I wrap my arms around his neck and settle in, kissing his cheeks, his jawline, and his neck. He moans softly in my ear as he becomes putty beneath me. I rub his shoulders with my hands, trying to loosen the tension. He winces slightly as I try and undo the knots. “It’s been a trying last two days.” He sighs.   
“I know.” I whisper. “Quiet now. Let it all go.” I move down to his chest, and run my hands around him and work his lower back, while I hug him from around the front. Our skin touching was comforting, and electric. I felt his heartbeat hitting mine like a pick on ore. I move down to his thighs, doing my best to ignore his growing erection. He lays his head back once more, clearing his throat and closing his eyes.   
Making his way down to his feet, I sigh at how relaxed I am here. I didn’t start to realize this was safe to me. This was home. I don’t know that I could go back to the Dales after all this was over, I didn’t know I would ever be happy there. I hear a slight cough and look up, Cullen clearing his throat to get my attention. His eyes are searing into mine, with that all too familiar hunger in them. Scooting back from him I eye him carefully.   
“Why must you look at me that way?” I say, crossing my arms and hiding my chest from him.   
“Because I have never wanted, loved, or needed anyone like I do you, My love.” His words fill my heart with warmth. He leans forward, crawling over me, and kisses me passionately. “Think I can prove it to you?” He whispers as he kisses my neck.   
“Hmmm. I don’t know, Commander.” I tease.   
Moving down to my breasts he takes me into his mouth, swirling his tongue around my nipple. I hiss through my teeth as the pleasure surges through me. Grabbing me under the thighs, he lifts us from the tub and carries us from the bathroom. The cool autumn breeze coming in from the open balcony doors hits my skin, making me shiver. Cullen walks us in front of the quiet fire, and lays me down.   
“You don’t know?” He asks, kissing down my belly. I moan slightly in response.   
“Should I just show you then?” His lips were on my sex now. Barely touching it. I could feel the heat coming off of his breath hit me like a freight train. Slowly, he circles my clit with his tongue, causing my back to bow up from the floor. He wraps his arms underneath my thighs like a pretzel and pins my hips down, immobilizing me. I could feel my insides beginning to heat up, the all too familiar tingle beginning in my toes. Before it could get to my knees, he stops. Raising my head from the floor, I look at him. His back was still arched, his fine chiseled back in full view of me. I counted his vertebrae all the way down, my eyes falling on his delicious ass, up in the air for me to see. He unwraps his arms from my thighs and crawls up over me, his body hovering over mine. The tip of his penis rests gently under my bellybutton, with each pulse, it touches my hot skin.   
“Eloren, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He whispers. “I never want to let you go. I want the last man you ever kiss to be me.” He says, kissing me softly. Pulling back he continues, “the last man you ever love.. to be me.” He grabs himself and centers his penis at the beginning of my sex. He looks at me before he enters. “And the last name you ever moan, to be mine.” He says, seductively, before pushing into me, and launching my body into oblivion. 

“So Inquisitor, what shall we have you wear for the ball?” Josephine asks, as we sit around the war table. I look up at her, watching Cullen grin at me from across the table.   
“The red pant suit everyone else is adorning will be fine, Josie.”   
“But..”  
“No buts!” I hush her. “I stick out enough already. Next thing I need is to trip on some floofy dress you make me wear!” I watch her as she crosses out all her ideas on her pen pad and pout.   
“I have my spies planted all throughout the palace.” Leliana says, pointing to the small map of the palace she has out on the table. “We must train you how to play the game, Inquisitor. This could mean life or death. Meet me in my office at noon starting tomorrow. We have a week before we must go.” She looks up at me, serious. Like the type of serious I don’t dare have her find me anywhere else. She looks over at Cullen now, and raises an eyebrow. He gives her a tight nod. “Alright. Adjourned. Let’s go eat.” She says, as she signs a few more notes and hands them to Josie. 

“So you’re telling me I have to basically lie the whole evening?”   
“Yes.” Leliana walks around her desk, grabbing reports as they come in, signing them and sending them off again. “The game is centered around all of the politics that go through Orlais.” She stands in front of me, her beautiful eyes searing into mine. “I don’t expect you to be perfect at it. I started venturing into The Game when I was six. But I need you to be good enough at it that we get the information we need and you don’t get slaughtered. Whether that be our reputation or your silky soft skin.” She brushes my cheek., her fingers long and warm. It reminded me of a mother’s touch. I feel calmed by her. Before I knew it she resumes her professional attitude.   
“Again.” She snaps.


	22. The Winter Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trouble unfolds at The Winter Palace, and Eloren has to make a few large decisions.

Cullen sighs as he takes a large swig of his drink and sets it back down on the expensive Orlesian wood table. A lady in a leopard mask approaches him, bowing respectfully. “Would you li—“ She offers.   
“No.” He interrupts, trying not to roll his eyes. She steps back slightly offended. “I’m on business, malady. I’m sorry.” He says, trying to not sound like such an imp. She nods respectfully and scurries away. He looks to his left, Leliana dressed in something other than her spy attire throws him off a bit. Almost as much as when he first met her, adorning the Chantry robes. Her hair still cut short, but her eyes not as cut throat as they are now.   
Eloren and her were chatting quietly, their heads close together. Eloren looks dashing, even in matching outfits, she sticks out. Behind her, Sera is seen running through the hallway, laughing hysterically, a guard’s stolen helmet in her hands.   
“Cullen,” Dorian’s hushed voice hits him in the right ear. “My my. Look at all this! Isn’t it spectacular?” He presses his hands together with glee. “I must go get another biscuit.” Cullen glares at him slightly. “Oh, Commander. Why must you be so grumpy? Live a little!!” He taps him on the shoulder and skips away, a loud whistle coming from his lips.  
The first bell, signaling that it was time to introduce this evening’s guests rang out, shaking the floor with its deep singing.   
“Would you like to—“ a small voice starts.   
“No!” He says before turning to see the vessel the voice came from. To his shock it’s Eloren. “Oh! Maker, Inquisitor! I’m sorry.”   
“Well now I feel stupid having asked.” She huffs, wrapping her arms around herself.  
“No, no. I’m sorry. I’ve just been asked so many times it just comes out automatically.” He wanted to reach for her, but wouldn’t dare. Not here. She sighs, choosing to play instead of sulk.   
“So you will dance with me later?” Her green eyes pierce into his. He begins to chuckle. “I’ll even let you lead.” She whispers.   
“We will see. Now go. We have things to do.” She winks at him before heading towards the main doors, the second bell begins to ring now.   
Fashionably late.   
Let The Game begin. 

“I don’t care, this is my choice!” Eloren hisses. “Briala needs to be apart of this, end of story. Gaspard is fucking up The Palace. I think if we have reconciliation, it’s the best for us and for Orlais.” Cassandra throws her hands up in frustration, walking down the hallway. “He tried to kill me, and is trying to kill his sister too. Do we really want a traitor, to his family no less, on the throne?”   
“She’s right.” Leliana says. “Briala is a beautiful spy. An ally I can’t say I wouldn’t use, or appreciate.”   
“This is all shite. But regardless, Celene doesn’t need to die.” Sera says, chewing on a cookie, crumbs falling out of her mouth.   
“Gaspard goes down, Celene and Briala rule.” Eloren demands in a fierce, stern voice.   
Cullen runs his hand on the back of his neck. “But what do we do with him?” He looks from Eloren to Leliana.   
Eloren ponders this a minute. “We spare him.” She says. Cassandra, making her way back, bursts into the conversation. “A traitor? Shouldn’t we kill him?” She backs up to the Palace door and leans against the frame, keeping watch.   
“No. I like his battle plans.” Eloren says, looking at Cullen. His heart skips a beat a little. “We imprison him for a little while, and offer him a deal. Work with us and he will be set free… to an extent. A traitor can’t be trusted, but I won’t let such experience go to waste.” She says before heading inside. Cullen looks at Leliana. She watches Eloren go inside, a slight smile playing on her lips. Sera, shrugs her shoulders and begins to climb up the vines decorating the palace walls. Cullen looks at Cassandra, her cheeks were flushed, her anger clearly showing. She gives him a tight nod before turning her gaze back inside, Celene was clinking her champagne glass to address the court.   
**  
She’s standing on the back balcony, her auburn hair flowing gently in the breeze. Cullen looks at her a bit longer before he hears her audible sigh. The court had calmed, as Gaspard was taken into custody and all of Florianne’s blood was wiped off the floor.   
He steps towards her now, touching her shoulder gently. Jumping slightly she looks at him.   
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He says. She immediately gains her composure, a small smile playing on her lips. “I came to check on you.”   
She sighs again, running her fingers through her hair.   
“Tired.” She finally says, her shoulders falling a bit.   
“Too tired to accept this dance?” He says, offering his hand. Her eyes brighten as she looks at his warn palm. Grabbing it gently, he brings her in close, and wraps his arm around the back of her waist. Taking her right hand in his, he lifts it up, and untwined his fingers with hers. Gently swaying back and forth to the hushed music inside, he feels her body give into his, and her muscles loosen under his touch. He spins them around the balcony a few times before she drops his hand, and wraps it around his neck, bring their chests together.   
“I hope I made the right decision.” She sighs. He chuckles.   
“I can’t help but notice you’re taking our troops into consideration. Hopefully I’m not influencing your decisions too much.” She looks up at him, an eyebrow raised.   
“Hey. Is it so bad that I actually listen to you blabber all the time? Instead of just zoning out or thinking about dinner later?” She laughs.   
“I get enough of that from Sera.” He huffs.   
There was a ripping sound from inside the doorway.   
“Ah fuck.” Bull’s voice bellows. He jogs outside and almost runs into them, a giant hole in the crotch of his pants. “Woah, sorry boss.” He says, shocked to see them embracing. Cullen immediately lets go of her and rubs the back of his neck.   
“It’s fine, Bull!” She laughs, motioning to his crotch. She looks back at Cullen and grabs his hand, bringing him closer to her once more. He looks at her, shocked. She’s never made them public until now. He didn’t quite know why, cuz everyone knew of their shenanigans. A smile comes across his face and butterflies play in his chest plate.   
“what… uh… did ya do there?” She giggles. Bull looks down at himself, covering the whole with his big hands.   
“I told Josephine they were way too small!” He yells. “I just stepped sideways to grab me some damn finger sandwiches… mind you the fingers of all you normal people are much smaller, and my soldier almost popped out!”   
Cullen lost all composure then, bursting out in laughter. Eloren covered her eyes with her free hand, turning bright red.   
“Your soldier?” She asks.   
“Hey. I don’t make fun of your guys boring ass sex moves, right? Don’t make fun of my soldier.”   
“Sex moves?!” Eloren spits. “BY GOD IF YOUR HEAVY ASS IS SITTING ON THE TAVERN ROOF WITH SERA…” she’s turning bright red. “For fucks sake you’re gonna make it cave in!!”


	23. Liliana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor has a heart to heart with the Spymaster

“Thank you.” I say as I approach Leliana. She turns from looking at the Andraste’s Grace we have planted in the garden. She looks just as threatening even out of her tower office, even in such a peaceful place. She turns and looks at me, her eyes smiling but her mouth staying still. The fountain we put in really helps bring peace to me, I find myself here often.   
“You’re very welcome Inquisitor.” She says quietly, rubbing the soft petals between her two fingers. I watch her a moment, like she’s here looking for her own peace too.   
“You must miss Divine Justinia.” I say, taking a seat on the edge of the fountain. The cool stone sends a chill up my spin, and I shiver.   
“I do. She was such a dear friend and there was so much going on at the time.” She looks up at the sky, remembering. I say quietly, hoping she’d accept my silent invitation to talk about it. “I was with The Hero of Ferelden when she defeated the Arch Demon.” She smiles, as she looks down at her hands. “When The Divine called to me, I had to go. And she knew that I did. It was religion that saved me in the first place. We promised one other we would adventure the world together.”   
“Do you know where she is?” I asked, my heart breaking for her.   
“Yes, actually. She just sent an update last week. She’s to the west. Far further than the blight could ever reach..” She sighs. “Regardless, when the Divine called to me, I went. And I haven’t seen Rae in a long time. I’m worried for her. In her letter she’s worried about The Calling. It’s effecting all other Grey Wardens. I’m worried it’ll get her too.” She looks to me then, her eyes giving away only a small amount of emotion. “When this is all over I’ll go to her, and nothing will come between us.” She smiles then. “Her goal is to stop The Calling.”  
“What makes you think she can succeed?”   
“Previous magic has been used to prolong life, and other miraculous things. I have full faith in her. After all, she’s on this quest just as much for me as she is for her. She knows what I’ve been through.”   
“What do you suggest we do then?” I ask.   
“We reach out to her, I know her general location, and it won’t be easy. But she might have information that may help us.” She comes closer to me, sitting down on the fountain with me. “I’ll draw up the plans in the War Room. Thank you, Inquisitor.” She says, putting her hand on my thigh. I grab it, and give a gentle squeeze.   
“You’re welcome.” I smile. “I was wondering if we might be able to use our resources for another reason too?” I ask, a little shy.   
“What do you need, Inquisitor?”   
“My sister.”   
“I can reach out to all my contacts in the Dales. Her name is NaVala, right?” I would like to pretend I was shocked she knew this already.   
“Yes. I haven’t seen her since two days before I traveled to the Chantry.”   
“I’ll look into it for you.” She says. “When you were in the Fade, did you learn anything else other than that you wrote in your report?” She asks.   
“No. I can’t remember anything else.” I look down at my hands, my green slash on my palm quiet.   
“There are things I wish I could forget.” She says, dipping her fingers in the fountain water.   
“Like what?” I ask, crossing my legs in front of me, and facing her.  
“When I said I started playing The Game I was six, I didn’t mean it as a large accomplishment.” She adjusts herself in front of me and continues. “My mother died when I was four, and she left me with the lady she served, Cecile Vasseur she was an Orlesian Noble, who taught me a lot about the politics, and culture. It was completely different from my upbringing. My mother was from Ferelden.” She smiles as she looks around the garden. “The smell of the garden reminds me of the smell of her.” She gets up again and picks the Andraste’s Grace, holding it up to her nose.” She used to keep these in her closet, even long after they’d died. It made her scent so special, because they are so rare in Orlais.”   
“I’m sorry you didn’t get to see more of her.”   
“Me too.”  
“Did Cecile raise you after that?”   
“She raised me, yes. Until I was sixteen. She never legally adopted me, but to me that didn’t matter. I was lucky to have her. She bred my desire to read. Almost every book under the sun, she bought and I studied. Like the Chantry Writings. Maker, I studied them. She taught me to dance, and took it upon herself to hire tutors for me. She taught me to be the Bard that I was.”   
“Think you could show me some of those moves sometime?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood. She laughs, a belly laugh even. I’d never heard such a thing. It was almost like a song within itself. She is complete Bard, inside and out.   
“A few months before my seventeenth birthday, she died. And it shook me to the core.” She didn’t say this with the sadness I expected as much as a tone of awe. My heart sank again for her anyway. “I’d never seen such sadness.” She went on. “Shortly before she passed away, we went to Val Royeaux, where I met Lady Marjolaine. She came and visited us often after that, and I danced and sang for her while she stayed. She had such daring stories of her upbringing, and I couldn’t help but be fascinated with her tales. She’d lived the life I always wanted to, and she took it upon herself to mentor me after Cecile passed away. One night she gifted me my bow, and taught me to hunt with it.” She chuckles now. “I hit a hart with it, but only wounded it. I didn’t have it in me to put it down. I couldn’t even track it.” She shakes her head and looks at me.   
“You’re kidding. You?” I say, in shock.   
“Yes, me. Your spymaster. I couldn’t finish my first kill. Marjolaine had to track it down and end its suffering for me. Later that summer I visited more often and she taught me all that she knew in manipulation and subterfuge. Maker, those were long nights.”  
“So how did you end up here?”   
“I ran from Marjolaine. I had to. She wanted to kill me. Crazy bird thought I was going to use her knowledge against her, and I had to hide. I found my way to The Chantry, and became a Lay Sister. I found The Maker, and he saved me from the life I used to live..”   
“And that’s where you met Rae, the Hero of Ferelden?”   
“Yes, she came in to the tavern I was sitting in one evening, and a few guards tried to stir up trouble. After that I knew I had to be with her, wherever she went. A feeling so strong it scared me. And that’s where our adventure began. She helped me defeat Marjolaine, and we traveled the world together for a while, until the Chantry called me.”   
“I’m sure you have wonderful stories.”   
“I do. I must share them with you sometime. Maybe over some mead and a good card game. Thank you, Inquisitor, for helping me lift these memories and burdens off my chest.”  
“Leliana, thank you. You’re absolutely vital to this cause. I love learning of your past and your life. You’re more than just a spymaster, you’re a genuine friend.” I say, getting up and hugging her. Taken by surprise slightly, she hugs back softly.   
“Thank you, friend.” She whispers.   
Looking behind me, the sun has almost completely set, and my belly was rumbling. Offering my arm to her, she gets up and takes it.   
“Come on, let’s go eat.”


	24. Courageous Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blackwall has disappeared, and someone else decides to come clean.

I look around my crew, Bull shakes his head, as he walks back to the horses. Cullen follows “Blackwall” to the jail, and Sera runs for the nearest donut cart. I look over at Cassandra, her face ashen, the look of shock never leaving her eyes. She gives me a tight nod, never raising her head back to me again before she quickly walks away from me, and ducks behind building across the square. Soon I’m the only one left, and I don’t know how long I’ve been standing here. My hands fall blandly at my sides, and the merriment that is Val Royeaux starts shuffling around me. I hear music and people eating. I hear the book shop owner reading to the school children just inside his shop. I catch a couple ogling some expensive Ferelden jewelry in a shop window.   
I can’t fathom the reasons why.   
My mind is everywhere and just here in this moment all at once.   
How am I to handle this?   
**

“Did you really do all of those things?” I say, my voice cold and stern.   
“Yes. I did. I didn’t kill Warden Blackwall, though, I’m not sure if you’ll believe that now.” He doesn’t even look at me. “He wanted me for the Wardens, by there was an ambush and he was killed. I assumed his name to hide what I’d done. I traded his death to hide. I’m a coward and a monster.” I felt little pity for him. I choose compassion.   
“Would a monster have let Mornay free?” He looks at me then, charging at me and hitting the bars with his hands.   
“Dammit, don’t you see?” He screams. “I ordered innocent men to do my dirty work! I lied to them about what they were doing, who they were killing, and they have been paying my debt! I’m a coward! A traitor! You fought with yourself to not kill Gaspard, and you felt no pain when Leliana killed the spy agent right on the front steps of Haven. Why do me any less?” He was face to face with me, I could feel warmth of his skin. Giving him a tight nod, he drops his hands, and sits back down on the bench against the wall.   
I take my leave and go storming upstairs, not sure where my head is. I walk through he front office when Cullen stops me.   
“I have the report on Black— Thom Rainier.” He stutters, as he hands me a piece of paper. I snatch it from his hands and look at it, realizing I’m shaking. I take a deep sigh.   
“Inquisitor, it’s not your fault. This is on all of us.”   
“What would you do if you were me, Commander?”   
“What Rainier did to his men is unforgivable. I detest him for it.” He clenches his jaw, making his muscles in his face poke out. “But at the same time, he gave his blood for our cause. And I can’t ever repay him for what he’s done to help us, to help me. Why would he do that?”  
“Because he’s not a monster, Cullen. He’s got a heart.” I ponder this. I remember all the nights I stayed up watching him carve the wooden rocking horse, and speaking to the children. The times he’s helped me down a demon, and the times he’s cut in front of me at just the right moment. When my mana was low, he’d give me water and guard me until I was ready to go again.   
“Judgement is yours, Inquisitor.” He says. “We have ways to get him out of here, and you could judge him back at Skyhold. But we must act with haste, and realize the consequences.”   
“I guess I just—”   
“Wait!” Cassandra interrupts, bursting in the room. “Inquisitor, a word?” She’s breathy and jumbled. Her hair is cast to the opposite side, and her chest rises and falls with haste.   
“Yeah, absolutely.” I say, handing the report back to Cullen. Cassandra sighs out her mouth, moving her hair on her forehead just slightly. She grabs me under He elbow and rushes us to the nearest alley way.   
“Inquisitor, did you speak with a Blackwall?”   
“Yes.” I say, a little confused.   
“Have you come to a decision?” She’s talking quickly, and looking into my eyes so deeply she might see my soul.   
“Not exactly, no.” I say impatiently. I cross my arms across my chest, my armor clanking about.   
“Please, Inquisitor. Don’t leave him here. Don’t sentence him to death.”  
“Cassandra, he’s a traitor! He killed innocent people for money. For greed!” My voice was getting louder. She brings her hands up in front of her face, and begins to whisper.   
“Please inquisitor.” She begs, her hands shaking. She looks at me again, tears in her eyes, and one stray one falling down her porcelain cheek. I’m instantly alarmed.   
“Cassandra—“  
“You can’t leave him here.”  
“But wh—”   
“Because I love him.”


	25. Sneaky sneaky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloren and Cullen can’t resist spying on Cassandra and Blackwall after they’re reunited at Skyhold

Eloren and Cullen sit outside the shut barn doors. It was late at night, and screaming woke them. They were both without shoes, and they were shivering to catch an ear about the commotion.   
Cassandra and Blackwall seem to be having a “discussion.” 

“So you chose to leave?! The NIGHT after we declared our relationship together?! Our love?!” She screams. Eloren looks at Cullen, her mouth wide open. He matches her shock with eyes as big as Raven eggs.   
“Cassandra, I’m sorry. I thought that part of me was dead and I could forget. But I couldn’t let another man die under my false life.” He says calmly.   
“But I trusted you! I gave you me, all of me. And I trusted you with it.”   
“I’m sorry.”  
“I had to tell the Inquisitor.” Cassandra hushes now.   
“And?” He’s even quieter.   
“Why do you think you’re standing here with me now?”   
“You bailed me out?”   
“No. Not exactly. But I helped persuade the idea. We will see how she judges you in the morning.” Cassandra was breaking, her anger turning to pain. “I just can’t believe you lied to me. To everyone. This inquisition is crucial to saving the planet, and here I am thinking you’re crucial to saving me. To making this life worth living.”   
“Cassandra.” There was a pause. Some shuffling. “I love you, more than I’ve ever loved any other woman.”  
“Cullen!” Eloren whispers loudly. “I’ve got to see!!!” She says, running as fast as she can towards the battlements. Cullen follows her, feeling the cool stone against his feet as he ran after her. She looked over her shoulder a few times, her hair blowing with her speed and a smile on her face. Almost like they were kids playing tag in the dark. Hiding from their parents and responsibilities.   
They reach the wall closest to the window of the barn and hide behind the wall. Eloren peeks in to see them, sitting on blackwall’s cot, tears running down her cheeks. He reaches for her hand but she rips it away from him.   
“Don’t touch me.” She hisses as she stands.   
“Cassandra please.” He gets up with her. “Don’t leave me.” He begs. Part of the reason I owned up to being the man I wasn’t, is to prove to you the man I could be. To prove my point of changing and recreating Blackwall, as he saw me. As who he wanted me to be. As the man you saw in me.” He holds his hand out, and she takes it hesitantly. He pulls her close and they hug, causing her to cry harder. “I’d never leave you, Cassandra. You’re my sun, my savior. You think I spent half my life’s earnings on your favorite poetry? Imported flowers? Staying up all night reading the books I watched you put back in the library so I could make conversation?” She looks at him, and he wipes the tears from her face.   
“Do you think she will get over it?” Cullen asks.   
“Shhh!!!” Eloren hits his shoulder causing him to grunt. And then laugh. Cassandra looks over blackwall, causing Eloren to hit the deck.   
“Way to go!” She hisses, throwing a small fireball towards Cullen’s feet. He dodges it, and rolls across the walkway, shock in his face.   
“You didn’t just do that to me!” He hush yells.   
She pulls a solitary finger towards her lips as she peaks back over the walls undetected and watches on.   
“Or the humiliation of having to ask Dorian what you might like to read next so I could give it to you in advance.” He says. “You’re the hardest woman to get, and the most beautiful heart there ever was. I’d never leave you, especially after we made love.”   
Eloren snaps her head in Cullen’s direction, her jaw slack. She crawls over to him and whispers, “They had sex!!” He laughs at her response.   
“You know more people than us do that.” He looks over at her mischievous grin. She scoots back across the battlements and peeks over the wall once more.   
“You promise me, from here on out it’s only the truth?” She says.   
“Yes.” He swears, crossing his heart. He takes her hand in his and kisses it gently. “I love you.”   
A big smile comes across her face, before disappearing again. “It’ll be awhile before I can trust everything you tell me, but I do feel like this one is genuine.” She says, kissing his cheek. “Goodnight.” She gives him a gentle nod and walks down to the main floor of the barn, making her way back across Skyhold and disappearing around the corner of the Tavern.   
Cullen gets up and picks Eloren up by her waist, throwing her over his shoulder. She squeals with shock and he smacks her ass to quiet her.   
“Cullen!” She whispers loudly. He chuckles in response. “Put me down this instant!” She says, in fits of giggles.   
“Hey, Love. Did I show you my desk?”


End file.
